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The breast and brightest: your guide to great cosplay

Once again, there was a ton of amazing cosplay at this year’s Comic-Con in San Diego. From kiddie superheroes, to frightening zombies, to favorite video game characters, to lesser known heroes and villains, to pop icons, like Princess Belle and Doctor Who, there was a lot to choose from if you wanted to get an eyeful of impressive costuming.

But I want to take a moment to tell you what matters more than great pageantry. That’s right — boobs!

The fans over at IGN voted on their favorite cosplay from the 2013 Comic-Con, and despite the diversity at the convention, the trend of the votes was abundantly clear: IGN likes ladies with assets.

So, in the event you want to be a successful cosplayer next year, or at any time of year, here’s a handy guide that’s sure to win you fans:

Step 1: Be conventionally attractive.

Common knowledge states that even if your average looks help you to resemble the character you’re trying to portray, the best cosplay is by people who are most attractive by our society’s current standards, even if that means you look nothing like said character.

Step 2: Choose a revealing costume.

Authenticity? Pish tosh! We’re not looking at the costume part, anyway. We’re looking at the anti-costume, the flesh that peeks out between! Give us Pikachu — but cut some slits in that mess. There you go.

Step 3: Have a breast augmentation. ‘Nuff said.

Okay, let’s get serious. No one’s scoffing at anyone’s right to do as they please with their body.

In fact, the cosplay girls in tight, revealing costumes look good — and they seem confident. More power to them.

What I’m scoffing at is IGN (as well as Rotten Tomatoes and Reddit), who pretend they’re supporting comic books and fantasy. Please.

With the disproportionate number of photos showing mostly naked women, as opposed to perfect depictions of Thor and Spiderman (though, Google those cosplays and you’ll get plenty of scantily clad women, too), you’re supporting sex, sex, sex.

This is not inherently bad, is it? Certainly not. But, as many have complained about Comic-Con in recent years — what happened to the focus on comics?

And, what’s more, let’s support all cosplay. Men, women, young, old, attractive, homely, and everything in between.

What matters is a killer costume. Not a killer rack. Well… unless you’re going as Amazonian Wonder Woman.

For a more equitable distribution of cosplay, check out this Huffington Post article.

Stephanie R. Lawson is a graduate of the Family and Consumer Sciences program at CSU Sacramento. She is interested in promoting healthy lifestyles and self-image to all people. She is passionate about all things literary, linguistic, and gastronomic.

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