All of this news about rape is making me sick.
But what makes me even more sick is the fact that media also seem to promote rape. Take these two songs that have recently been on the Billboard Top 100 charts: Lil’ Wayne’s “Love Me” and Rick Ross’s “U.O.E.N.O”.
It makes me sick to even link to those lyrics here, but I know from personal experience that if you don’t actually read what they’re singing, it’s nearly impossible to separate the music from what is being said.
Look carefully at those lyrics. Both songs promote rape in one key way: They say that depending on how a girl dresses or where she is, she is asking for sex. This attitude is completely wrong and horribly damaging.
Rick Ross’s song even goes as far as bragging about a date-rape scenario: “Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it/I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.”
Just think about all of the times that you may have listened to these songs and not paid attention to the lyrics. Or think about all of the people who listen to these songs, and songs like them, over and over again until somehow they learn that no doesn’t mean no in every case. It’s time to stop listening to songs condoning rape.
In real life, no means no. Every time.
No girl gets dressed for a party thinking to herself, “I’m dressing to be raped tonight.” They’ll never walk into a party and exclaim, “Someone please rape me.”
Yet with songs like these ones, people get the idea that somehow it’s okay to have sex with a woman against her will. That even if a woman says no, or if she is passed out, that she really wants it.
Let me repeat: In real life, no means no.
Unless she coherently and enthusiastically says that she wants it, she doesn’t want it. Don’t assume that she does just because she can’t say no.
Men, when you see a woman drunk at a party, take her home without any stops. If you don’t know where she lives, check her into a hotel, and leave a note and cab fare. Don’t make a move, even if in her drunken state she makes you think she wants it.
You’re better than that. If you’re interested in her, leave her your number on the note and ask her out on a proper date. There is no excuse for taking advantage of her. None. No matter what kinds of messages about women media attempt to ingrain in us.
David Pearson is a recent graduate of Brigham Young University in Media Arts. He studied media, religion, and gender and how they’re all related. When he’s not writing at www.experimentalcriticism.com, he’s trolling the Internet for discriminatory memes and wondering where the closest pizza place is.