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Strawberry Tall-Thinner-and-Straight-Haired Cake?

By June 16, 2008 8 Comments

I don’t know about you, but it really annoys me when ’80s cartoon characters are revamped using today’s technology. Take Alvin and the Chipmunks the movie. Modern day technology took the “cuteness” out of Alvin, Simon and Theodore and made them look all real and chipmunk-like. Yah yah, maybe its more “realistic” but I prefer them the 80’s way.

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Of course nothing — and I mean nothing — takes the cake (pun intended) after what I saw yesterday.

American Greetings has made a new version of Strawberry Shortcake. I’ve got a personal attachment to Ms. Shortcake. After all, I have her old lunchpail and my best friend’s mom called me Strawberry Shortcake for being short. How dare they make this new version of Ms. Shortcake with straight hair, a thinner body, and make-up? She’s more like Strawberry Short Tart! And then we wonder why we see nude pictures of teen idols like Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus. Ms. Nuevo Shortcake is targeted to a whole new generation of young girls. I can see it now. Little girls playing with their Disney Princess Collection dolls, except the threat is no longer a wicked witch, but Strawberry Short Tart threatening to take away their handsome prince and ruin their fairy-tale romance. You think I am exaggerating, but honestly, girls either have dolls that are frail and fragile waiting to be saved to play with or overly sexualized characters like Strawberry Shortcake (gosh, I never thought I’d say that!) or a Bratz doll. So is it any wonder that by the time they are teenagers they want to be sexy?

And what’s the rumour I hear about getting rid of Custard, her beloved cat? Apparently, Custard is being replaced by a cell phone. What?? That’s like making Theodore get rid of his cupcake pan for a machine gun! Okay maybe that is a bit of an exageration, but Custard is an intregal part of Strawberry’s life (as the cupcake pan is to Theodore’s).

What’s next? I shudder to think.

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