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Secret Girlfriend: Don’t just watch the jerk, be the jerk.


Comedy Central’s new show Secret Girlfriend portrays men as immature, sex-crazed idiots and documents their adventures in douchebaggery. It basically functions as training wheels for harder-core fare; the plot is weak, and the women exist only to look and act stereotypically sexy for the men.

What’s new, right? Well, there’s a twist: Secret Girlfriend gives us a literal interpretation of the misogynistic male gaze. The camera serves as the eyes of the main character, inviting the viewer to take on his perspective and jump into the story. The other characters talk to “you”, and you send texts back and forth, but you never actually speak.

Your bros
Your bros—Do we ever see women this size starring in fun, confident roles?

You check out every woman in the show, as the camera pans from ass to breasts—after all, you’re a guy, so you don’t have the power to resist sizing up women in this way.

Of course, only conventionally hot, thin girls can be on this show, but the men are average-looking and overweight.

Women’s only valuable characteristic is their sex appeal; if they’re not
Maxim centerfold material, they might as well be invisible. In contrast, leading roles for men seem to go to whoever can execute lame jokes about genitalia and sound really pumped at all times.

I watched the first episode of Secret Girlfriend, and that was more than enough for me. I’ll detail the main events and save you the pain of actually watching it.

During this episode, we learn about two main women in your life: 1) Mandy: your psycho, sexy, brunette ex-girlfriend, and 2) Jessica: a new, blonde girl-next-door (in a Budweiser commercial kind of way).

You meet Jessica (your secret girlfriend) while buying alcohol at a convenience store. When she catches you staring at her ass, she says "My boobs are up here!"
You meet Jessica (your secret girlfriend) while buying alcohol. When she catches you staring at her butt, she says "Excuse me--my tits are up here!"

Jessica says that she doesn’t mind when you choose to play video games and have pizza and beer on your first date instead of going somewhere nice. Totally possible—some girls like that stuff too.

But to show that she can really be “one of the guys”—although remaining very hot and looking feminine, of course—while playing the game (likely Grand Theft Auto), she yells, “Yeah, shoot the hooker in the face! Yeah bitch, eat it, eat it!”

This scene proves she really is cool and knows what chillin’ and being a dude is all about: drinking brewskies, eating greasy pizza, and playing a game where you get to perform acts of violence against women while verbally degrading them!

Another time, when you’re out eating sushi with Jessica and seemingly having a great time, you get a call from your bros, telling you to get to the strip club ASAP! You’re with this amazing girl on a date that is going wonderfully, but you’ve gotta follow the golden rule: bros before hos.

Plus, the ho you’re with is fully clothed and hasn’t put out yet, while there will be many hos at the strip club who are scantily clad or naked and eager to sell you lapdances. It’s a pretty clear choice for you. Factoring your date’s feelings into the equation would be waaaaay too hard.

Luckily, Jessica answers right after you hang up with a playful “you don’t even need to explain, just go!” response, because she’s more than happy to let you ditch her—she knows that she’s not that important to you, and accepts that your priority is to be at the most sexually enticing scene at all times.

Mandy, your psycho ex, is still desperately obsessed with you. Can you say "cliché"?
Mandy, your psycho ex, is still desperately obsessed with you. Can you say "cliché"?

You’re having a great time at the strip club—until Mandy comes in! She was doing some snooping because she expected that you were going there behind her back. Mandy tells you that she’s hurt that you’re at the strip club because it makes her feel like she isn’t enough for you.

That is an understandable feeling, though in this case it is coming from an ex-girlfriend with obvious issues, so the overall sentiment is really: “Chicks shouldn’t trip about you looking at other chicks take their clothes off, even if you are in an intimate relationship with them.”

Because your ex is not only crazy, but also sexy, her rational course of action is to remove her trench coat to reveal that she is wearing nothing but lingerie! As your “punishment” for going to the strip clubs behind her back, she is going to dance on stage in front of everyone, to show you what you can’t have anymore.

That’ll really put you in your place. I guess in guy dream world it would make perfect sense that women perform a striptease whenever they get mad at you. Therefore, the more of a jerk you are, the sexier she will act!

After her dance, Mandy approaches you and suddenly wants you again because she noticed you watching her when she was dancing on stage! You check out every woman, and that’s all that you have to do to get a woman to stop being mad at you: ogle her—no special attention, care, or conversation necessary.

So what have we learned from this episode? Secret Girlfriend delivers entertainment in the form of lowest common denominator humor, sexism, tired stereotypes, and overall stupidity. Is the show simply satire? Not likely–the tone is off. Is it the generic fantasy of the stereotypical, sexist frat boy? Perhaps. Does it reflect ideas that are marketable to a sizable portion of our population (young, heterosexual males)? Yes—the fact that it’s airing on Comedy Central tells me that it does.

It also tells me that there’s a whole new generation of prepubescent boys who don’t have quite the same grasp on reality as adults, and are learning to view and treat women as objects—worthless unless they look “hot”, and disposable even if they do—through watching this show.

Have you seen Secret Girlfriend? What do you think?

Take action! Let Comedy Central know how you feel about Secret Girlfriend:

Jenni Runyan Director
2049 Century Park East, Ste. 4000
Los Angeles, CA 90067

Phone: 310.407.4771


10 thoughts on “Secret Girlfriend: Don’t just watch the jerk, be the jerk.

  1. I saw this on Comedy Central, right after South Park because my friend had left his TV on.

    As a guy, I think its pretty demeaning, like sex is the golden standard in life and thats the only reasoning your living; to tally up the number of hot women in your life to sleep with.

    The world in which this TV show is presented is pretty disturbing too. The only characters allowed to be ugly or (I can’t believe I am saying this) slightly “dimensional” are the guys.

    Every girl in the show has to be hot, stupid and willing to have sex with you, despite you being trash. They are a tool.

    I am not sure who this is appealing to, but if you’re stupid enough to watch this garbage then you might be stupid enough to believe that this is how the real world is, thus becoming more of an influencing delusion among your peers and people – thus inadvertently affecting a lot of people in the long run. Maybe I am thinking about it too much, but how many kids and people out there DO mimic Tv Shows ? A lot

    Your article is a breath of fresh air, please keep typing.

  2. Did y’all notice something else going on here? The hot, fun, friendly girl is blonde, and the hot, psycho, crazy ex is brunette. Why is the girl with positive qualities usually blonde? This shows just piles the discrimination on like grandma’s mashed potatoes.

  3. I like this show a lot and am now a SAD PANDA because no new episodes have come out.

    does anyone know if a new season will come out and if so, when?


    Funny paper by the way!

  4. Please do not post multiple comments pretending to be different people. It is quite obvious when they are all from the same IP address and only minutes apart. That is why the last four or so comments have been deleted. You can post multiple comments–as yourself.

  5. I think you are all looking in to this too much, it is a funny show and I don’t believe the writers intended for it to be anything but that. I personally really enjoyed watching it I thought it was pretty funny. Yes it portrays a lot of stereotypes but they are used to make the show humorous.

  6. It’s easy to make racist and sexist jokes because the intention is (usually) not for people to take them seriously. But joking about oppressed groups by using the same stereotypes that are used to oppress them only reinforces the idea that person A is greater than person B because person A is male, or white, or straight, or thin etc.

    It’s not that we don’t have a sense of humor, it’s just that gender equality has a long way to go before we can see this on television and know in our hearts that it’s okay to laugh because in the real world, women really are equals.

  7. Also, if the producers of the show need to rely on stereotypes to make it humorous, I would say that they are neither very smart nor talented.

  8. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the most shocking posts I have read thus far. The fact that this show exists is a testament to the reason I will never have cable again. I cannot believe things have sunken this low since I last watched television. The things you have described here are LUDICROUS!!! Hilarious in their ridiculous falseness!! Cliched nonsense. Alienating, perpetuating self-destructive behavior. My teenager doesn’t know who Ghandi is but I’ll bet she’s heard of this damn show.

    This garbage, this nonsense, this complete opposite of reality BS is such a set back for humankind.

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