With all the super-sexist advertisements that are in the media on a daily basis, there are few things that really, truly shock me. I’ve seen a lot of screwed-up stuff, but this article in particular really takes the cake.
I present to you, from Askmen.com:
Top 10 Subtle Ways to Tell Her She’s Getting Fat
The title alone is enough to make anyone vomit. Here’s a quick overview of some of the major atrocities that lie within.
Number 10: Buy Her Clothes That Are Too Small
Number 7: Serve Her Unsatisfactory Portions
“By making her ask for more food, you might succeed in shaming her into an acknowledgment of her recent weight gain, and hopefully to instigate a conversation about what she’s going to do about it.”
Number 5: Playfully Grab Her Love Handles
“Ask any man and he’ll tell you that he instinctively flexes his biceps whenever a woman touches them. The same thing goes for a woman when you make contact with any unwanted flab: She recoils and feels embarrassment.”
Number 4: Ask Her to Wear an Old Dress
“This way she’ll have to admit to you that she’s put on too much weight and can no longer get into many of her old clothes. Follow it up by telling her how good she looked in those days, and maybe she’ll make it her mission to get back to that size.”
I could write a thousand-page thesis on the disgusting implications of this article. First, the author assumes that the woman in question will tailor every detail of her life — diet, clothing, exercise — to please her man’s desires. Last time I checked, it was 2011, not 1950.
This article is driven by two major undertones: humiliation and shame. This in itself is ridiculous, because it abides by the premise that women should always feel guilty about putting on weight — which is not the case! Furthermore, these tactics are meant to isolate the woman in question and make her feel insecure and unattractive. Clearly the author of this article has no idea what a wholesome, loving relationship ought to entail.
Simply put, this article makes it seem as though women need to justify their bodies to their significant others — which is blatantly, unequivocally FALSE.
On a daily basis, the media tries to encourage women to lose weight with special cereals, “appealing” salads, and fad workout routines. The last thing our severely screwed-up pop culture needs is an article which encourages men to “put women in their place” and “shape up.” Give me a break, people!
And the cherry on top? Askmen.com asks viewers to rate each article they read, as such:
“This Article Makes Me:
Laugh
Think
Furious
Happy
Sad
A Better Man”
The percentages? (as of Nov 29)
Laugh – 34%
Think – 15%
Furious – 14%
Happy – 14%
Sad – 11%
A Better Man – 12%”
Sure, we could rejoice over the fact that 11 percent of viewers said the article made them sad. We could read the angry comments at the bottom of the article and feel a little relief at the fact that every reader is not a complete psycho. But the fact remains that 12% of viewers said this article made them “a better man.” And if that’s not enough, 5,946 people like it on Facebook. The mere fact that this article exists in 21st century America is disgusting. Period.
– Hailey
I hope that article was satirical…it was, right?
Just what the world needs–yet another article which blatantly states that a woman’s value as a human being is based on some numbers on a scale.
I was hoping the same thing but unfortunately it just wasn’t witty or clever enough to be satire.
I despise that website. I think it’s sexist, sizeist, and even racist. I wouldn’t associate with anyone who said it was their favorite website. Disgusting!
This is truly stunning.
I read the article, between what you listed above, and the condescending note under #3, which essentially says, “Last year some women with no sense of humor, couldn’t tell our suggestion to cut into the leg of a chair, so when your wife sits on it she’ll think she made it break funny. We’re going to suggest your husband takes you out on a nice date instead, perhaps that will silence you harpies!” My official opinon is, if you find out your man reads AskMen.com, dump the zero and find yourself a hero!
This is horrible! Not only does it send the message that you have to be a certain size, it also send a message of male domination. It sends the message that so many victims of domestic violence hear…you’ll never be good enough for anyone but me and if you don’t please me, I will just verbally abuse you until you are so isolated you will believe it. Craziness!
The same body-shaming bullshit crops up in another article, one about how to tell your girlfriend that she is ‘bad in bed’ – ‘Buying clothes that are a size too small for her is a particularly effective way to deliver your message. After she’s finished moaning, a casual comment along the lines of “oh, I thought you were a size X†will have her convinced she’s piling on the pounds. If all goes to plan, she’ll put more effort into her fitness regime and sexual exploits to burn off those extra calories.’
Let me see if I understand this logic. Shame your girlfriend into thinking that she is ‘fat’ and therefore that her body is unacceptable in your eyes, and she will ‘put more effort into’ her ‘sexual exploits’ for you? I don’t know about anyone else, but if my boyfriend were to make me feel bad about my body in that way, I would not be putting any effort into having sex with him.
Also in this article it is suggested that a man should openly watch porn and let his girlfriend catch him doing it, then she will be upset, and while she is ‘vulnerable, easy to manipulate and more susceptible to […] lies’, make her watch porn with him, then tell her to behave more like a pornstar when having sex. Essentially: make her feel inadequate compared to pornstars, then make her perform a sexual persona that she is likely not comfortable with, just to please you.
So much fail, AskMen.
http://uk.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_3800/3829b_bad-sex.html#ixzz1h0LXVhTV‘
AskMen is absolute scum and it depresses me that it exists. It seems that while women have made massive strides towards equality, men are allowed to treat us like worthless sex objects even more blatantly than before.
“The same body-shaming bullshit crops up in another article, one about how to tell your girlfriend that she is ‘bad in bed’ – ‘Buying clothes that are a size too small for her is a particularly effective way to deliver your message. After she’s finished moaning, a casual comment along the lines of “oh, I thought you were a size X†will have her convinced she’s piling on the pounds. If all goes to plan, she’ll put more effort into her fitness regime and sexual exploits to burn off those extra calories.”
Or she’ll dump the loser, who only values her as a trophy!
I am going to sound very controversial, but I actually dont find the concept as appalling as many people here do. Sure, the tips are pretty vile , no doubt about that and i am not even going to comment on them because they are just plain stupid.
But letting your loved one know (man or woman) that they are letting themselves go a bit is not wrong in any way, shape or form. (And no, i am not a no-lifer fitness addict with a shallow relationship, thank you very much.) I think its important in a relationship that you make effort to look attractive to the other person starting from the first date and finishing sometime in your nineties when your hopefully long and happy relationship ends naturally. Now to gain some weight is not a crime, (nor is losing some, for that matter), and everyone knows that body types change , people get fatter, thinner, pregnant, lose flexibility, get ill, lose hair, and so on. And this should all be part of the relationship. But if someone is letting herself or indeed, himself, go, then there are usually some reasons for it and that’s more worrying than the extra pound here and there. Uncontrolled eating and a sedentary lifestyle is the only reason people gain weight, unless it’s an illness based weight gain;, and uncontrolled eating and a sedentary lifestyle is not good for anyone and needs to change, and if it changes/when it changes the unnecessary weight will come off on its own.
Also, chances are , (well, guaranteed, actually) that by the time your man notices your weight gain, you have noticed it a month before, and fact is (yes, fact) that having more weight on you than what you’re used to makes you feel heavier, more uncomfortable, more miserable. Notice I say “weight you’re used to”, not talking about size 0. By the time he will notice, you will already have been wanting to change it back anyhow. If the weight gain is complimentary (for example, a flat bottom become more rounded, or slightly bigger boobs, or a bellydancer tummy suddenly appears) and you feel sexier and more comfortable with the weight on, he won’t notice anyhow! I personally prefer my boyfriend when he isn’t at his skinniest. (doesn’t mean In sabotage his food an load it with fat to keep him from losing it!).
If I had to come up with tricks to let your loved one know that they have let themselves go a bit, there would be only one. “Let’s have a walk. Let’s go for a jog. Let’s play a match of tennis. Let’s do something active together, it will benefit us both”. In a relationship, you should be able to talk about everything openly.