The Meetup
Learn more about our small but effective organization and the many ways we can work together! There will be volunteer opportunities to get into right away.

When: Wednesday, September 10, 2008, 7-9pm

Where: The Thrive House for Youth
1100 Broderick Street at Eddy St., San Francisco
Click here for a Google Map
Click here for the Thrive House’s web site

Food: Pizza will be served. Let us know if you have food restrictions and we will try to accommodate.

Please try to RSVP by 24 hours before the meeting so we are sure we have enough food: iwanttovolunteer@about-face.org or (415) 436-0212.

Here’s what you can expect:

• For newcomers: In the early part of the meeting, About-Face staff will introduce the organization and talk about the many volunteer opportunities we have open, which range from a couple hours to a couple months.
• Low-commitment volunteering. If you like, you can stay and start volunteering RIGHT AWAY! We’ll have a project to do until the end of the meeting.
• Sign up for longer-term volunteer opportunities and get to know us better.
• Get to know others who are interested in this issue, making big changes in the way young women see themselves as a result of the onslaught of media messages they see every day.

Volunteers ages 13 and up are welcome. We’d prefer that teenagers ages 13 through 17 come with a parent, guardian, or adult advocate if possible.

We look forward to seeing you on September 10th!

Join us in making a difference this summer in your life and the lives of young women! We can’t wait to meet you.

Please try to RSVP by 24 hours before the meeting so we are sure we have enough food: iwanttovolunteer@about-face.org or (415) 436-0212.

The trailer:

I saw the documentary last night in San Francisco, and I almost lost my s*&# watching the editors of Elle Girl and Seventeen magazines talking about how they need to show the thin body ideal only, or they’re “out of a job.” Really — no care for the fact that you are contributing to eating disorders, self-hatred, and general depression in young women? And the answer: No, really, none at all.

And then there’s Gerren, a 12-year-old model whose mother lets her wear next to nothing on the catwalk, but won’t let her wear a bra to school because she doesn’t think it’s appropriate. Through my work with About-Face, I’ve spoken to more moms than I can count who give their daughters the very same mixed messages.

There are just so many pertinent, poignant bits in this film, one being that the whole thing flows really well and nails the problem of our culture’s beauty obsession in a way that no somewhat-smart woman can deny. And two being that it’s an African-American man who made the film and who includes many other African-Americans who truly have something to say.

If you look carefully, you’ll spot two About-Face posters in the film! (I wish About-Face had been around to be in the movie!)

Really, I could go on and on. But I won’t.

Bring your mom, bring your friends, bring your sister. Hey, bring your brother. Cuz guys need to know this stuff too. (Plus there are quite a few bits about men and their body image too.)

I saw the film in San Francisco, where it opens at the new Sundance Kabuki on Friday. Click here for other theaters throughout the nation.

Take Action:

1) See the movie! Bring your people! Click here for theaters throughout the nation.

2) E-mail the filmmaker, Darryl Roberts, about why you appreciate the movie so well (even if you haven’t seen it yet).

3) Call or walk into your local theater and ask them to show this film.

4) Comment on the online or print articles about this film (including this one), singing its praises and adding to an intelligent debate.

–J.B.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t bound to family-friendly vocabulary. I am exceedingly creeped out by the way the woman is shown as inert, with no free will, no ability or desire to refuse forced feeding. I am upset by the idea that the GOAL is to render a woman immobile. And I can bet you that the game won’t show her fighting off your advances or struggling too much. No, no, that would be too disturbing, too weird. After all, who doesn’t like cake?

I wonder how many women were in the boardroom when they came up with this trash.

Some womenландшафт are criticizing this game for being offensive to the obese. And it is. The idea that a (victimized, abused) heavy woman can’t just stand up and walk out on her own is disgusting. Let me go a step further though, and say this game is offensive to all women. I’m no gamer, but it seems that our choices are either this or the hydraulic anatomy of Lara Croft. Mario is no bodybuilder and he gets around just fine on his own!

Do you ladies have experiences with video games that you want to share? What do you make of Fat Princess? Vent here or contact PlayStation yourself.

-A.I.

- J.B.

About-Face took action around “The Swan”’s airing. The result: We sent in about 500 letters to Fox, the production company, and everyone else involved who we could find. Of course we didn’t hear back from them. We wish we’d been wrong about the show’s effects: More and more women feel they are inadequate enough to take a risk like cosmetic surgery, and the women on the show were harmed — just take Lorrie’s story.

What do you think? Was Lorrie duped by the show, or was she simply making poor choices at rock bottom?

(And by the way, please be compassionate and civil — Lorrie is a real person who may just be reading your comment.)

– J.B.

Recently we came across an honest, enlightening account of a mother and daughter’s experience with eating disorders, and we thought you should know about it. Distorted, a book by Lorri Antosz Benson and her daughter Taryn Leigh Benson, chronicles the experiences they respectively shared while Taryn was battling eating disorders as a teenager.

Distorted is an honest and holistic account of what happens when a loved one is struggling with a disease. I’m keen on emphasizing the word disease because this was the first time I deeply understood the fact that an eating disorder is a disease. It may play out differently than alcoholism, but the common link is that both alcoholics and people with eating disorders are consumed by their addiction.

The book is made up of journal entries submitted by the mother and daughter as they live through their experiences. This helps the reader understand the full impact of the disorder and how it affected the lives of everyone involved. Taryn’s entries recount the time of her disorder, and go in depth to explain her battle, the amount of time, energy and focus she put into her disorder, and how she covered it all up to keep it from her parents and her friends. The entries by Lorri, Taryn’s mother, account for the sadness, helplessness, and struggle the family faced and how the family was affected by Taryn’s disease. In great detail, we hear how she, as a mother, did everything possible to research and find solutions to help Taryn and how she coped with watching someone that she loves spiral downward. The reader is able to experience the transformation of both of these women. Through various methods of treatment, therapy, and personal conviction, Taryn finally gets to a place when she realizes she wants to survive and to treat herself well, and Lorri realizes that the only way Taryn will get better is if she wants to. The reader is able to see Lorri struggling with this concept in most of the book.

It was powerful to see the honesties (and dishonesties) of emotions unfold in the book. There is a moment when Taryn returns from her first eating disorder facility. Her parents hope she really is okay and has recovered, and her younger sisters, being more naïve and hopeful, think she is “cured.” However, as the weeks pass, the family begins to see familiar patterns and see Taryn’s drastic mood swings. One entry made by Lorri is particularly powerful for a mother to admit and feel:

“As I a saw my other two girls suffering, it was hard not to feel resentment towards Taryn. Although I intellectually knew she was also hurting, emotionally I hated what her inability to cope was doing for the rest of us. And of course, I couldn’t confront her, although my instincts told me to. I could hear the party line playing in my head. ‘She is harder on herself than we could ever be.’ So I journaled.”

While we have heard of stories in the media about girls with eating disorders, some simply sensationalistic, Taryn and Lorri’s account is real and sincere. This book is great for anyone to read who is recovering from an eating disorder and for those whose loved ones are dealing with one.

To buy the book, click here. Amazon.com gives About-Face a percentage of the proceeds from sales from our web site.

- A.J.

(Click the photo to watch the video on CNN’s site.)

The first thing I felt while watching this news clip was a distinct chill. The second was an extreme sense of irritation. I thought back to my family vacations as a child and wondered how I would have felt as a little girl seeing two young women in bikinis selling their, ahem “merchandise” (pun intended). How awkward would that be, especially if my parents were around? I would wonder if that is what it meant to be a woman — that in order to double my income, I would need to “flaunt it.”

And can we bring it back to the weather? What happens when it rains? Do they accessorize with Ugg boots to keep warm? Does someone make Ugg pasties for these poor girls? It all looks pretty gloomy in the video clip.

I could go on about the continued sexualization of women. I could also comment on the body types of these women. Would they receive less tips if they were 15 pounds heavier? Does the employer discrminate against applicants based on their sizes?

Instead, I am going to encourage action. If you live in Seattle and you know the coffee stand this news story is referring to, write or call them. Tell them to put clothes on their employees! Write to your local government’s tourism department and file a complaint. What is the real attraction to Seattle? And if you’re traveling to Seattle, please don’t encourage it by going to this stand, unless you’re going to take a stand.

–A.J.

Date & time: Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm

Where: Western Addition, San Francisco (exact location will be given when you RSVP by e-mailing us)

Not into the whole “taking it to the streets” thing? We do lots of other activities, so there are many more ways to do great work with us.

The full announcement:

About us:
About-Face equips women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect their self-esteem and body image. To do this, we lead media-literacy workshops in schools and groups, enable girls and women to take action, and maintain a resource-filled web site. And we do it all with a spirited, positive twist. To learn more, read more about us in the San Francisco Chronicle article published just over a year ago, and check out the About-Face web site.

Come and learn more about our small but effective organization and the many ways we can work together. The next volunteer meeting is Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm, in the Western Addition. We hope you’ll join us!

Date & time: Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm (if you need to come late, please make sure you’re there by 6:30pm)

Location: Western Addition of San Francisco. We will give you the exact location upon your RSVP. (We need to know how much food to order.) E-mail us to RSVP.

Food: Pizza will be served. Let us know if you have food restrictions and we will try to accommodate.

Here’s what you can expect:

* In the early part of the meeting, About-Face staff will introduce the organization and talk about the many volunteer opportunities we have open, which range from a couple hours to a couple months.

* Low-commitment volunteering. If you like, you can stay and start volunteering RIGHT AWAY! We’re planning our Yay Scale action and working on the announcements that will go with it.

* Sign up for longer-term volunteer opportunities and get to know us better.

* Get to know others who are interested in this issue, making big changes in the way young women see themselves as a result of the onslaught of media messages they see every day.

Volunteers ages 13 and up are welcome. We’d prefer that teenagers ages 13 through 17 come with a parent if possible.

We look forward to seeing you on the 16th! Don’t forget to e-mail us if you are planning to come.

Make a difference this summer in your life and the lives of young women. We hope to see you on Wednesday July 16!

Love,

Jennifer, Alyza, and our growing band of About-Facers

From my seat next to her, both of us facing the Starbucks storefront, I balked. Her reflection gave her away: tall, thin, with a tightly drawn face and deep-set eyes.

“Don’t you think Mommy looks better now?” she murmured to herself, pulling out a compact mirror and gently reapplying foundation to her cheeks. Her daughters, around ages three and five, were playing rambunctiously among the tables. When her younger daughter tried to take the compact, her mother screeched, “No! Don’t use it! You have a nice complexion. If you use it, it will clog your pores and give you pimples.”

Later, her older daughter asked if she could comb her mother’s hair, which went smoothly until the comb accidentally grazed the woman’s forehead. She shrieked, “Ow! You hateful thing, look what you did! Wow, it’s really deep! You scratched me! It really hurts! Look at my forehead! I’m going to give your sister a present and not you! You’re not getting ice cream tonight!” This was, of course, followed by 7.5 minutes (I kept track) of non-stop preening in the mirror and tending to her forehead, while she sent her daughter to fetch ice water for her.

Now, I am not a parent, nor do I have much of an affinity with children. However, I was stupefied by that woman’s behavior. I recognize that people tend to overhear parents in their worst moments, but it took all the lovingkindness and humility I had not to reprimand that woman (or slap her last facelift clear off!). Her children were outgoing, inquisitive, and un-self-conscious. They were still young enough to prefer their hair wild and unkempt, their clothing rumpled and comfortable. And by projecting her fears of aging and “ugliness” on her daughters, she was normalizing the world of makeup and plastic surgery to girls just learning to read.

From My Beautiful Mommy

Speaking of which, a book called My Beautiful Mommy has been getting a lot of press lately. The book, aimed at young children, recasts a musclebound plastic surgeon as the fairy godmother for a post-pregnancy mother as she gets a nose job, tummy tuck, and breast implants. The book claims to explain the desire for cosmetic surgery and ease the fears children have of their mothers going under the knife. Here’s the thing though: the kids have the right idea. While “mommy makeovers” (combo tummy tuck and breast augmentation) may be increasingly popular these days, the fact remains that surgery is surgery, elective or not. I was discussing plastic surgery with a friend who has undergone thirteen procedures to correct a cleft palate, and he silenced me during my moral waffling. “After experiencing what I have, imagining people choosing to subject themselves to it seems selfish and stupid.” I mean, I’ve only had my wisdom teeth removed, and that was enough!

I think the idea of a children’s book praising and oversimplifying plastic surgery is dangerous. If a mother chooses to alter her appearance, it should be her responsibility to explain her reasoning to her child — after all, she knows better than a book. Also, let me just say of the title: Who said my mother isn’t absolutely gorgeous exactly as she is?!

Ultimately, sitting there in Starbucks, I said nothing. I felt too young. Instead, I hoped that the girls would develop a healthy sense of rebellion, thanked my stunning mother for raising me, and went back out into the rain.

What would you have done? Would you have felt comfortable saying anything (and if so, what is appropriate to say)? And to what extent did your parents’ ideas about bodies and beauty influence you? I’m really curious to see some responses.

– A.I.

My heart goes out to Ms. Summer. However, you will see much worse on the site: extra hands, people with eight-pack abs but no bellybuttons, even my favorite here (may be NSFW). It’s interesting to note that, although PsD is a site that is open to all types of ads, photos of Frankenstein women dominate the blog. I definitely recommend visiting this site as an affirmation that, no, no one actually looks like that.

-A.I.