Archive for July, 2008
As if the world of gaming wasn’t unfriendly enough for women. Feministing caught wind of the latest steaming pile of circuits from Sony: a game called Fat Princess. The premise is capture-the-flag, except here the flag is a woman. Each team feeds their kidnap victim as much cake as possible in order to render her too heavy to carry back to the other side.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t bound to family-friendly vocabulary. I am exceedingly creeped out by the way the woman is shown as inert, with no free will, no ability or desire to refuse forced feeding. I am upset by the idea that the GOAL is to render a woman immobile. And I can bet you that the game won’t show her fighting off your advances or struggling too much. No, no, that would be too disturbing, too weird. After all, who doesn’t like cake?
I wonder how many women were in the boardroom when they came up with this trash.
Some women???????? are criticizing this game for being offensive to the obese. And it is. The idea that a (victimized, abused) heavy woman can’t just stand up and walk out on her own is disgusting. Let me go a step further though, and say this game is offensive to all women. I’m no gamer, but it seems that our choices are either this or the hydraulic anatomy of Lara Croft. Mario is no bodybuilder and he gets around just fine on his own!
Do you ladies have experiences with video games that you want to share? What do you make of Fat Princess? Vent here or contact PlayStation yourself.
-A.I.
July 31st, 2008
A couple new About-Face events for you, Bay Area-ites! A series of Wednesdays: August 6, 13, and 20. We’d love to see you in person, so check out the details over on our Volunteer page.
- J.B.
July 28th, 2008
When Lorrie A. appeared on cosmetic-surgery reality show “The Swan” back in 2004, she didn’t know what she was getting herself into. Now she’s scarred and damaged. Have a look at her (very short) interview on E! News from Sunday:
About-Face took action around “The Swan”‘s airing. The result: We sent in about 500 letters to Fox, the production company, and everyone else involved who we could find. Of course we didn’t hear back from them. We wish we’d been wrong about the show’s effects: More and more women feel they are inadequate enough to take a risk like cosmetic surgery, and the women on the show were harmed — just take Lorrie’s story.
What do you think? Was Lorrie duped by the show, or was she simply making poor choices at rock bottom?
(And by the way, please be compassionate and civil — Lorrie is a real person who may just be reading your comment.)
– J.B.
July 22nd, 2008
Recently we came across an honest, enlightening account of a mother and daughter’s experience with eating disorders, and we thought you should know about it. Distorted, a book by Lorri Antosz Benson and her daughter Taryn Leigh Benson, chronicles the experiences they respectively shared while Taryn was battling eating disorders as a teenager.
Distorted is an honest and holistic account of what happens when a loved one is struggling with a disease. I’m keen on emphasizing the word disease because this was the first time I deeply understood the fact that an eating disorder is a disease. It may play out differently than alcoholism, but the common link is that both alcoholics and people with eating disorders are consumed by their addiction.
The book is made up of journal entries submitted by the mother and daughter as they live through their experiences. This helps the reader understand the full impact of the disorder and how it affected the lives of everyone involved. Taryn’s entries recount the time of her disorder, and go in depth to explain her battle, the amount of time, energy and focus she put into her disorder, and how she covered it all up to keep it from her parents and her friends. The entries by Lorri, Taryn’s mother, account for the sadness, helplessness, and struggle the family faced and how the family was affected by Taryn’s disease. In great detail, we hear how she, as a mother, did everything possible to research and find solutions to help Taryn and how she coped with watching someone that she loves spiral downward. The reader is able to experience the transformation of both of these women. Through various methods of treatment, therapy, and personal conviction, Taryn finally gets to a place when she realizes she wants to survive and to treat herself well, and Lorri realizes that the only way Taryn will get better is if she wants to. The reader is able to see Lorri struggling with this concept in most of the book.
It was powerful to see the honesties (and dishonesties) of emotions unfold in the book. There is a moment when Taryn returns from her first eating disorder facility. Her parents hope she really is okay and has recovered, and her younger sisters, being more naïve and hopeful, think she is “cured.” However, as the weeks pass, the family begins to see familiar patterns and see Taryn’s drastic mood swings. One entry made by Lorri is particularly powerful for a mother to admit and feel:
“As I a saw my other two girls suffering, it was hard not to feel resentment towards Taryn. Although I intellectually knew she was also hurting, emotionally I hated what her inability to cope was doing for the rest of us. And of course, I couldn’t confront her, although my instincts told me to. I could hear the party line playing in my head. ‘She is harder on herself than we could ever be.’ So I journaled.”
While we have heard of stories in the media about girls with eating disorders, some simply sensationalistic, Taryn and Lorri’s account is real and sincere. This book is great for anyone to read who is recovering from an eating disorder and for those whose loved ones are dealing with one.
To buy the book, click here. Amazon.com gives About-Face a percentage of the proceeds from sales from our web site.
- A.J.
July 21st, 2008
Is it just me, or is the term “sex sells” getting as old as the phrase “surf’s up?”
(Click the photo to watch the video on CNN’s site.)
CNN, being the intellectual news source that it is (ha!) reported on something quite relevant. Yes, they did a short piece on bikini-clad baristas in Seattle, Washington. Apparently, these baristas are making double and triple the usual tips because they are wearing bikinis while brewing coffee instead of um…clothes. The coffee kiosk is located across from the needle landmark Seattle is best known for.
The first thing I felt while watching this news clip was a distinct chill. The second was an extreme sense of irritation. I thought back to my family vacations as a child and wondered how I would have felt as a little girl seeing two young women in bikinis selling their, ahem “merchandise” (pun intended). How awkward would that be, especially if my parents were around? I would wonder if that is what it meant to be a woman — that in order to double my income, I would need to “flaunt it.”
And can we bring it back to the weather? What happens when it rains? Do they accessorize with Ugg boots to keep warm? Does someone make Ugg pasties for these poor girls? It all looks pretty gloomy in the video clip.
I could go on about the continued sexualization of women. I could also comment on the body types of these women. Would they receive less tips if they were 15 pounds heavier? Does the employer discriminate against applicants based on their sizes?
Instead, I am going to encourage action. If you live in Seattle and you know the coffee stand this news story is referring to, write or call them. Tell them to put clothes on their employees! Write to your local government’s tourism department and file a complaint. What is the real attraction to Seattle? And if you’re traveling to Seattle, please don’t encourage it by going to this stand, unless you’re going to take a stand.
–A.J.
July 14th, 2008
We’re so much more than a blog and a web site! And our last volunteer meeting, on June 25, was a success! We hatched a plan: an action that takes on our culture’s obsession with weight. We’ll be teaming up with Marilyn Wann, author of the inspiring book Fat!So?, to make and demonstrate Yay Scales. You don’t know what a Yay Scale is? Here are three hints: There will be crafts, there will be a public challenging of the status quo, and hopefully, there will be media coverage. Come to the July 16 meeting to find out more and get involved!
Date & time: Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm
Where: Western Addition, San Francisco (exact location will be given when you RSVP by e-mailing us)
Not into the whole “taking it to the streets” thing? We do lots of other activities, so there are many more ways to do great work with us.
The full announcement:
About us:
About-Face equips women and girls with tools to understand and resist harmful media messages that affect their self-esteem and body image. To do this, we lead media-literacy workshops in schools and groups, enable girls and women to take action, and maintain a resource-filled web site. And we do it all with a spirited, positive twist. To learn more, read more about us in the San Francisco Chronicle article published just over a year ago, and check out the About-Face web site.
Come and learn more about our small but effective organization and the many ways we can work together. The next volunteer meeting is Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm, in the Western Addition. We hope you’ll join us!
Date & time: Wednesday, July 16, 6-9pm (if you need to come late, please make sure you’re there by 6:30pm)
Location: Western Addition of San Francisco. We will give you the exact location upon your RSVP. (We need to know how much food to order.) E-mail us to RSVP.
Food: Pizza will be served. Let us know if you have food restrictions and we will try to accommodate.
Here’s what you can expect:
* In the early part of the meeting, About-Face staff will introduce the organization and talk about the many volunteer opportunities we have open, which range from a couple hours to a couple months.
* Low-commitment volunteering. If you like, you can stay and start volunteering RIGHT AWAY! We’re planning our Yay Scale action and working on the announcements that will go with it.
* Sign up for longer-term volunteer opportunities and get to know us better.
* Get to know others who are interested in this issue, making big changes in the way young women see themselves as a result of the onslaught of media messages they see every day.
Volunteers ages 13 and up are welcome. We’d prefer that teenagers ages 13 through 17 come with a parent if possible.
We look forward to seeing you on the 16th! Don’t forget to e-mail us if you are planning to come.
Make a difference this summer in your life and the lives of young women. We hope to see you on Wednesday July 16!
Love,
Jennifer, Alyza, and our growing band of About-Facers
July 8th, 2008
“Mommy, does plastic surgery make you look like a different person?” “No, it just makes you look more beautiful than you used to be.”
From my seat next to her, both of us facing the Starbucks storefront, I balked. Her reflection gave her away: tall, thin, with a tightly drawn face and deep-set eyes.
“Don’t you think Mommy looks better now?” she murmured to herself, pulling out a compact mirror and gently reapplying foundation to her cheeks. Her daughters, around ages three and five, were playing rambunctiously among the tables. When her younger daughter tried to take the compact, her mother screeched, “No! Don’t use it! You have a nice complexion. If you use it, it will clog your pores and give you pimples.”
Later, her older daughter asked if she could comb her mother’s hair, which went smoothly until the comb accidentally grazed the woman’s forehead. She shrieked, “Ow! You hateful thing, look what you did! Wow, it’s really deep! You scratched me! It really hurts! Look at my forehead! I’m going to give your sister a present and not you! You’re not getting ice cream tonight!” This was, of course, followed by 7.5 minutes (I kept track) of non-stop preening in the mirror and tending to her forehead, while she sent her daughter to fetch ice water for her.
Now, I am not a parent, nor do I have much of an affinity with children. However, I was stupefied by that woman’s behavior. I recognize that people tend to overhear parents in their worst moments, but it took all the lovingkindness and humility I had not to reprimand that woman (or slap her last facelift clear off!). Her children were outgoing, inquisitive, and un-self-conscious. They were still young enough to prefer their hair wild and unkempt, their clothing rumpled and comfortable. And by projecting her fears of aging and “ugliness” on her daughters, she was normalizing the world of makeup and plastic surgery to girls just learning to read.
From My Beautiful Mommy
Speaking of which, a book called My Beautiful Mommy has been getting a lot of press lately. The book, aimed at young children, recasts a musclebound plastic surgeon as the fairy godmother for a post-pregnancy mother as she gets a nose job, tummy tuck, and breast implants. The book claims to explain the desire for cosmetic surgery and ease the fears children have of their mothers going under the knife. Here’s the thing though: the kids have the right idea. While “mommy makeovers” (combo tummy tuck and breast augmentation) may be increasingly popular these days, the fact remains that surgery is surgery, elective or not. I was discussing plastic surgery with a friend who has undergone thirteen procedures to correct a cleft palate, and he silenced me during my moral waffling. “After experiencing what I have, imagining people choosing to subject themselves to it seems selfish and stupid.” I mean, I’ve only had my wisdom teeth removed, and that was enough!
I think the idea of a children’s book praising and oversimplifying plastic surgery is dangerous. If a mother chooses to alter her appearance, it should be her responsibility to explain her reasoning to her child — after all, she knows better than a book. Also, let me just say of the title: Who said my mother isn’t absolutely gorgeous exactly as she is?!
Ultimately, sitting there in Starbucks, I said nothing. I felt too young. Instead, I hoped that the girls would develop a healthy sense of rebellion, thanked my stunning mother for raising me, and went back out into the rain.
What would you have done? Would you have felt comfortable saying anything (and if so, what is appropriate to say)? And to what extent did your parents’ ideas about bodies and beauty influence you? I’m really curious to see some responses.
– A.I.
July 1st, 2008
