The other morning I was chatting with Alli, my friend and colleague at the American Association of University Women (AAUW), about a recent posting she read on Feministing about female comic book and graphic novel characters.
The post mentioned that while some argue that strides are being made for better representation of women in this particular medium, many comics and graphic novels still lag behind.
The Feministing post highlighted Power Girl, a female superhero with powers that rival Superman’s, with an alter ego who works as a female CEO. While this all sounds well and good, comments on the post discussed other issues such as the extreme sexualization of the character:
Panels from a Power Girl comic book
Alli pointed out that the author makes an interesting note at the beginning of her post about the “women in refrigerators” syndrome, which refers to the de-powering of female superheroes. Generally speaking, when a female character loses her powers or is injured or attacked, she is less likely to bounce back.
Oracle
Being a Batman comic fan, I thought of Barbara Gordon: After being paralyzed from the waist down, she gives up going out on the streets to fight crime as Batgirl and takes up the role of Oracle instead (whereas in Knightfall, Batman recovers from a broken back and continues fighting crime as Batman).
But how does this all relate to gender violence, specifically?
An image that comes immediately to my mind is the attempted rape scene in Watchmen. (It is present in both the graphic novel and the movie, but I’ll just discuss the graphic novel depiction here.) While the sequence does not glamorize rape, it does contain victim-blaming language.
The Comedian (a.k.a. the perpetrator) justifies his attack by saying,
“C’mon, baby. I know what you need. You gotta have some reason for wearin’ an outfit like this, huh?”
Of course, he is referring to the Silk Spectre’s revealing costume.
Another member of the superhero group walks in after the Silk Spectre has been beaten to the ground and stops the attack. Even though he helps her out, he says to her as she’s bleeding on the floor,
“Get up … and, for God’s sake, cover yourself.”
This solidifies the victim-blaming justification used earlier and reinforces the notion that, even though she’s a crime fighter, she can still be degraded, overpowered, and controlled by men.
Even though she is strong, her power as a superhero — and as a woman — is taken away.
What do these depictions of female superheroes and comic book characters say about our society? How do they influence how the audience perceives women in real life?
Even if these women are powerful in fighting crime and in their personal lives, they are objectified. Even when they are a contributing member of the team, they are sexually violated and abused.
When there’s room for so much growth and better representation for women in this medium, why are these recurring themes and plot devices still prevalent? Perhaps the answer is that with all the sexual violence that exists across the globe, these themes just mirror real life.
A Heineken ad featuring a blonde, female robot serving beer
I drink beer. I’m a woman.
According to the Beer Institute, I’m not alone: women make up 25 percent of the beer market.
Hmmm. Strange. Because most beer commercials I’ve seen recently either a) don’t include any women at all;
or b) depict women solely as Barbie cheerleader types who serve men beverages.
In a 2001 USA Today article, Benj Steinmen, president of Beer Marketer’s Insights, gives a little insight into this paradox: “Brewers have been reluctant to market to women for fear of alienating their core audience: men. But beer consumption among women is growing. And they like light beer.” The USA Today article goes on to cite TV ads for Amstel Light, Miller Lite, and Bud Lite as examples of a shift towards advertising beer to women.
Well, it’s almost 9 years later, and beer advertisers are still doing just that: marketing light beer to women. But most ad campaigns for beer are still eye-rollingly, ridiculously sexist.
Heineken Commercial:
Miller Light Commercial:
Bud Light Commercial:
But who cares, right? We should celebrate. We’ve been invited into the old boys’ club–as long as we stick with light and leave the real stuff to men.
In a 2008 post on the topic, a blogger at Jezebel asked:
If women already drink beer, do brewers even need to bother directing ads toward them? Or it is high time advertisers stopping ignoring half the market? And do women drink beer despite the lack of women-centered advertising, or because it’s a “manly” choice?
I drink beer because I like the taste. I like the carbonation. I like the way it compliments certain foods. I’d like to give other female beer-drinkers the benefit of the doubt and say they drink beer because they like the taste, too. And as a female beer-drinker, I’m sick of the boys-will-be-boys crap of beer advertisements. I say it’s high time advertisers stop ignoring half the market.
As a whopping 25 percent of their customer base, women have the economic power to create change. There are many ways to take action:
1. Support brands that don’t use sexist advertising.
2. Read and support initiatives such as Women Enjoying Beer, an organization that encourages breweries to better market to women and has a blog with posts on women-friendly breweries.
3. And last but not least, when you see beer ads that offend you, file an advertising complaint with the Beer Institute.
Will any of this actually help? I don’t know—beer advertisers seem convinced that gendering beer is the best strategy. But maybe, little by little, we can help them realize that alienating half the market just doesn’t make economic sense.
Katherine Leyton is a freelance writer and poet from Toronto, Canada. She has a B.A. in English Literature from McGill University and an MsC in Creative Writing from the University of Edinburgh. Her work focuses on the construction of gender and has appeared in The Malahat Review, The Feathertale Review, The Globe and Mail, and The South China Morning Post. She believes writing can create positive change in women’s lives and is involved with Sister Writes, a non-profit organization in Toronto that runs creative writing workshops for marginalized women.
As one of the few successful female writers, directors, and producers in Hollywood, Nancy Meyers has been making movies for over 30 years. Her movies include many romantic comedies featuring middle-aged couples, such as Father of the Bride, Something’s Gotta Give, and the recent release, It’s Complicated.
I’d always just thought of these movies as fun holiday diversions, but a recent piece in the New York Times by Daphne Merkin, called “Can Anybody Make a Movie for Women?”, made me think perhaps more was at stake.
Merkin argues:
“[Meyers] rushed in where angels fear to tread to rescue the middle-aged and manless woman from her lonely plight. She has taken this sorry creature, who is bombarded with reminders of her vanished youthfulness everywhere she turns, and placed her in an alternate universe, where she is…desirable just the way she is.”
Even though I know how much women are pressured to look and act youthful, I was disheartened to read this belief. Merkin seems to think there’s an age between 30 and 40 where women reach their best before dates and instantly become saggy, wrinkly, undesirable hags.
If that idea is out there, then Meyers’ movies might play a more important role than I thought. Her movies tell older women it’s okay to be happy and competent, while also subtly telling younger women not to worry so much, because love can happen later.
Nancy Meyers at work
In It’s Complicated, Meryl Streep plays Jane, a divorced mother of three who runs a bakery in Santa Barbara. One drunken night, she begins an affair with her ex-husband, Jake (Alec Baldwin), who is remarried to a much younger woman. Meanwhile, Jane is also pursued by her architect (Steve Martin).
During the movie, I noticed Jane’s relative security. While she worries about a sagging eyelid, you get the impression that she’s been getting along fine with her work, girlfriends, and kids.
Seeing her happy despite her single status, we get a different message from the traditional one that older women without men are pitiful “spinsters”. Instead, we see an example of how older women don’t need to rely on having men to be happy.
There were things that irked me, though, like how Jane and her friends demonize Jake’s wife and other younger women for “stealing” their men, and I didn’t notice a single important non-white character. Also, the characters’ happiness seemed partly due to their immense wealth.
But at the end of the day, as someone who’s feeling societal pressure to settle down and have kids at age 24, I felt like the movie gave me some license to relax and live my own life without worrying about hitting an arbitrary age where I will be doomed to live a lonely, miserable, single life. As far as fantasies go, I can definitely buy into one where I get to be myself and pursue my career goals, and when I’m pushing 60 maybe have a fling with a paunchy yet charming lawyer.
Do you think the focus on middle-aged women in movies like It’s Complicated is refreshing, or do you think these movies still tell women they’re incomplete without men? What do you think young women take home from watching these movies? Do you think the fact that the characters are usually really rich increases the pressure on women for financial and career success as well as romantic success?
There’s no doubt that Glee is one of the most popular television shows in recent memory. The style is flashy and engaging, and the musical performances are fun. Glee’s humor is mostly based on playing with exaggerated stereotypes—often to great effect.
But the women in Glee, without exception, are presented poorly. They either are portrayed negatively, or embody misogynist principles as positives–with no satirical commentary.
(Note: there are some spoilers about the season finale of Glee below—be warned! You can watch the finale at Hulu.com)
Let’s take a look at some of the main female characters:
Sue Sylvester
Sue Sylvester: Sue is the sadistic head coach of the school’s cheerleading squad. She will do whatever it takes to win, and has also made it her personal goal to bring down the glee club. Sue uses deception, manipulation, threats, and cheating to gain personal success and to bring down others.
Terri Shuester
Terri Shuester: Terri is a manipulative and narcissistic woman who uses guilt to get what she wants from men. When she begins to think—for no apparent reason—that her husband, Will (the glee club director), is leaving her, she fakes a pregnancy in order to ensure his commitment to their relationship.
Quinn Fabray
Quinn Fabray: Quinn is similar to Terri in many ways, most notably in her use of shame. When she gets pregnant, she lies to her boyfriend, Finn, about his paternity, and uses his guilt and sense of responsibility to cover for her infidelity. She also spies on the Glee Club for the cheerleading coach, often passing along damaging information and sabotaging the club.
Emma Pilsbury
Emma Pillsbury: Emma is neurotic, obsessed with germs and health, and never wants anyone to touch her. She is sweet-natured, but weak willed and barely able to function in normal society. To judge from the finale that aired recently, this makes her the perfect woman for the hero, Will.
Rachel Berry
Rachel Berry: Rachel is talented, intelligent, and outspoken about her principles and beliefs. However, these characteristics apparently makes her an unlikeable harpy who is merely tolerated for the talent she brings.
While many of the male characters are also stereotypical in negative ways, the two leading male characters—Will and Finn—are both presented as good, likeable men whom women manipulate and betray.
The season finale was especially frustrating. Due to extenuating circumstances, neither Will nor Finn is able to join the glee club for their performance at sectionals: Finn leaves the club entirely, and Will sends Emma to lead the choir in his place.
When the glee club gets to the competition, they discover that Sue has leaked their song list to their competition. Emma is hopeless as a team leader, and Rachel tries to rally the team, but morale still sags.
The good guys of Glee: Finn and Will
Will finally convinces Finn to rejoin the team, and he arrives just in time to save the day. Talented Rachel is given the solo to open the show, but it is only Finn’s presence that unites the team and gives them the hope to continue.
At the end of the episode, Will informs Emma that he left his wife the day before, and the couple kisses.
So,in the world of Glee, women are helpless in general, and most attractive when neurotic and obsessed, while men are the ones who must step forward with ideas and leadership.
Glee, like any pop culture phenomenon, has its power in the hearts of the people who watch it. The best way to combat the harmful images of women is to discuss them, and open the eyes of others to the damage that could be done by the show. Glee is already a popular topic in homes and offices across the country—get into the discussion!
Susan J. Douglas’s report, “Where Have You Gone, Roseanne Barr?”[PDF here], details the media’s failure to represent the real American woman—the everyday breadwinners and caregivers. Douglas says the media are funhouse mirrors that exaggerate certain parts of our collective reality and hide others.
The media, it turns out, are gravely overrepresenting the success women have made in the workforce.
By judging by the protagonists I see in the majority of TV dramas and sitcoms, I would deduce that, by and large, American women are successful doctors, lawyers, police detectives, and, sometimes even Presidents of the United States. They occupy high positions in male-dominated areas. It seems, at last, as if women have really “made it.”
I think I fell for it, too.
But in reality, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the top five jobs women held in 2008 were (in this order) secretaries, nurses, elementary and middle school teachers, cashiers, and retail salespersons. And the median salary for women was $36,000 a year — 23% less than men.
Most American women struggle like the character Roseanne, a real female protagonist, played by Roseanne Barr. Douglas believes that more women like Roseanne should be portrayed on network television.
Douglas asserts that as women were heading off to college and the workforce like never before in the 1950s and 60s, women in television were still stay-at-home moms and blonde bombshells. The media illusion at that time was that women weren’t making it when, in fact, they were.
Now, she says, “the media illusion is that equality for girls and women is an accomplished fact when it isn’t. Then, the media were behind the curve; now, ironically, they’re ahead.”But wait, I thought. That’s good, right?
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Bailey on Grey's Anatomy
Isn’t it good that young girls turn on the TV and see powerful women holding important positions, like Geena Davis as president in Commander in Chief, and Chandra Wilson as powerful, sharp Dr. Bailey in Grey’s Anatomy? Isn’t it good that the media recognize and acknowledge the accomplishments women have made in our society?
But change the channel. Flip through tabloids. Click through gossip blogs.
While we see successful women on our television screens, we still see dating programs that boil women down to airheads and sex fiends. We still see “Who Wore it Best” columns, Sports Illustrated bikini spreads, and articles that measure a celebrity’s success based on her weight management.
Why is that? Douglas explains that this disconnect in women’s portrayals exists because, since women have “made it” according to all those network programs, so it’s okay to keep objectifying women in other platforms. It’s ironic and amusing, and, hey, it’s okay, because all those women are successful!
What do you think? Is it the mainstream media’s responsibility to reflect reality or simply create entertaining shows? Is it better to overrepresent success, or do you think this constant depiction of accomplishment gives other outlets justification to continue objectifying women? Were you ever inspired by a female protagonist on a television show? And are you disgusted by others? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
The Shriver Report – A Woman’s Nation (A Study by Maria Shriver and the Center for American Progress) includes a chapter entitled “Where Have You Gone, Roseanne Barr?”, which discusses more than the offensive depictions of women or the lack of women’s representation in the media. While the chapter’s author, Susan J. Douglas, does talk about those issues, she goes right to the root of the problem:
Why should policy makers pay attention to media images of women? Because the media—and especially (although not exclusively) the news media—may not succeed in telling us what to think, but they certainly do succeed in telling us what to think about. This is called agenda-setting, and thus it matters if the real lives of most women are nowhere on the agenda, or if the agenda promotes the fantasy that full equality is now a reality for all women. And policymaking matters because the news media typically follow the lead of political elites in Washington. (p. 1)
This Ralph Lauren photo recently caused a big stir
There is a stark contrast between women working in the real world and what is represented on TV. As AAUW (American Association of University Women) said in an announcement back in June:
In 2009, women made up more than half the U.S. labor force; yet, the number of women CEOs in Fortune 500 companies stands at 13. In Fortune 1000 companies, only 25 women hold that position. At the current rate, it could take 40 years for the number of female CEOs to equal the number of male CEOs.
Additionally, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, women’s representation in employment as well as ownership of media is pretty dismal. True, while improved representation in employment does not necessarily mean there will be an improvement in how women are depicted and talked about in both the news and popular media, it still would be a progression for women in our society.
Female experts are not being consulted, and women’s voices are not being heard. According to The Op-Ed Project—an initiative that works to see more women represented as op-ed contributors, columnists, and general experts accessible to the media—men dominate 85 percent of the “national conversation.”
What all this boils down to is the issue of accurate representation. As Douglas states in her chapter, “these distorted reflections contain and perpetuate significant class biases by either ignoring or silently ridiculing most women who make less than $100,000 a year and aren’t media-perfect in appearance” (p. 3).
We need those accurate depictions to show what life is really like for women, not just those who have successful careers and are wealthy, but those who aren’t especially wealthy. We need to see more of those women who may or may not be in relationship, those who may or may not have a family, those who may or may not be caregivers, and the list goes on.
Issues facing women in the media are incredibly important because while these issues may seem harmless, they can have long-lasting effects on how women and girls perceive themselves as well as how society in general perceives them. It’s about giving a voice—and representation—to a multitude of experiences rather than seeing and hearing from a select few.
Comedy Central’s new show Secret Girlfriend portrays men as immature, sex-crazed idiots and documents their adventures in douchebaggery. It basically functions as training wheels for harder-core fare; the plot is weak, and the women exist only to look and act stereotypically sexy for the men.
What’s new, right? Well, there’s a twist: Secret Girlfriend gives us a literal interpretation of the misogynistic male gaze. The camera serves as the eyes of the main character, inviting the viewer to take on his perspective and jump into the story. The other characters talk to “you”, and you send texts back and forth, but you never actually speak.
Your bros—Do we ever see women this size starring in fun, confident roles?
You check out every woman in the show, as the camera pans from ass to breasts—after all, you’re a guy, so you don’t have the power to resist sizing up women in this way.
Of course, only conventionally hot, thin girls can be on this show, but the men are average-looking and overweight.
Women’s only valuable characteristic is their sex appeal; if they’re not Maxim centerfold material, they might as well be invisible. In contrast, leading roles for men seem to go to whoever can execute lame jokes about genitalia and sound really pumped at all times.
I watched the first episode of Secret Girlfriend, and that was more than enough for me. I’ll detail the main events and save you the pain of actually watching it.
During this episode, we learn about two main women in your life: 1) Mandy: your psycho, sexy, brunette ex-girlfriend, and 2) Jessica: a new, blonde girl-next-door (in a Budweiser commercial kind of way).
You meet Jessica (your secret girlfriend) while buying alcohol. When she catches you staring at her butt, she says "Excuse me--my tits are up here!"
Jessica says that she doesn’t mind when you choose to play video games and have pizza and beer on your first date instead of going somewhere nice. Totally possible—some girls like that stuff too.
But to show that she can really be “one of the guys”—although remaining very hot and looking feminine, of course—while playing the game (likely Grand Theft Auto), she yells, “Yeah, shoot the hooker in the face! Yeah bitch, eat it, eat it!”
This scene proves she really is cool and knows what chillin’ and being a dude is all about: drinking brewskies, eating greasy pizza, and playing a game where you get to perform acts of violence against women while verbally degrading them!
Another time, when you’re out eating sushi with Jessica and seemingly having a great time, you get a call from your bros, telling you to get to the strip club ASAP! You’re with this amazing girl on a date that is going wonderfully, but you’ve gotta follow the golden rule: bros before hos.
Plus, the ho you’re with is fully clothed and hasn’t put out yet, while there will be many hos at the strip club who are scantily clad or naked and eager to sell you lapdances. It’s a pretty clear choice for you. Factoring your date’s feelings into the equation would be waaaaay too hard.
Luckily, Jessica answers right after you hang up with a playful “you don’t even need to explain, just go!” response, because she’s more than happy to let you ditch her—she knows that she’s not that important to you, and accepts that your priority is to be at the most sexually enticing scene at all times.
Mandy, your psycho ex, is still desperately obsessed with you. Can you say "cliché"?
You’re having a great time at the strip club—until Mandy comes in! She was doing some snooping because she expected that you were going there behind her back. Mandy tells you that she’s hurt that you’re at the strip club because it makes her feel like she isn’t enough for you.
That is an understandable feeling, though in this case it is coming from an ex-girlfriend with obvious issues, so the overall sentiment is really: “Chicks shouldn’t trip about you looking at other chicks take their clothes off, even if you are in an intimate relationship with them.”
Because your ex is not only crazy, but also sexy, her rational course of action is to remove her trench coat to reveal that she is wearing nothing but lingerie! As your “punishment” for going to the strip clubs behind her back, she is going to dance on stage in front of everyone, to show you what you can’t have anymore.
That’ll really put you in your place. I guess in guy dream world it would make perfect sense that women perform a striptease whenever they get mad at you. Therefore, the more of a jerk you are, the sexier she will act!
After her dance, Mandy approaches you and suddenly wants you again because she noticed you watching her when she was dancing on stage! You check out every woman, and that’s all that you have to do to get a woman to stop being mad at you: ogle her—no special attention, care, or conversation necessary.
So what have we learned from this episode? Secret Girlfriend delivers entertainment in the form of lowest common denominator humor, sexism, tired stereotypes, and overall stupidity. Is the show simply satire? Not likely–the tone is off. Is it the generic fantasy of the stereotypical, sexist frat boy? Perhaps. Does it reflect ideas that are marketable to a sizable portion of our population (young, heterosexual males)? Yes—the fact that it’s airing on Comedy Central tells me that it does.
It also tells me that there’s a whole new generation of prepubescent boys who don’t have quite the same grasp on reality as adults, and are learning to view and treat women as objects—worthless unless they look “hot”, and disposable even if they do—through watching this show.
Have you seen Secret Girlfriend? What do you think?
Take action! Let Comedy Central know how you feel about Secret Girlfriend:
Jenni Runyan Director
2049 Century Park East, Ste. 4000
Los Angeles, CA 90067
I wouldn’t describe my feelings for the Twilight saga as “love” or even “like,” but more along the lines of “obsessed.” When I read the four books in the Twilight series, along with millions of teenage girls, I was engrossed in a world where one could go to school with vampires and be best friends with a werewolf.
However, another feeling rivaled my fanatic obsession while reading the Twilight saga; extreme aggravation.
One of the reasons why I was interested in reading the Twilight series is that I love books with a strong female lead character. My hopes for Bella Swan as the strong main character started to crumble when I delved a little deeper into the folds of the Twilight world.
Bella has a lot of potential, with her passion, wit, and stubbornness. At times the reader is tricked into thinking Bella is the strong female lead we wish we had more of because we can see her obstinate thoughts and read her bold inner monologue.
But all of that is undermined by the fact that she is constantly seen as the damsel in distress. Stephenie Meyer, the author, chose to put Bella in situations where she was completely dependent on the supernaturally strong men in her life.
Bella (Kristen Stewart) is saved yet again by her supernatural friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) in New Moon
It isn’t until the of the last book, Breaking Dawn, that Bella actually has an opportunity to showcase her abilities, but even then, Bella undermines her own impact. Edward, her vampire lover, tells Bella her talents saved the family, but we never see Bella own that fact herself.
Millions of young (and not so young) readers have read the Twilight series and are going to flock to the second movie, New Moon, in theaters November 2009. I know there are stories out there that are just as interesting as Twilight AND show girl characters as powerful actors in their own worlds.
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
So, where are the compelling stories with strong girls leading the charge? One of my favorite young adult novels with a fantastic main character is Ella Enchanted. Ella is smart, funny, and determined on saving herself in this fairytale with a twist.
What other books out there should girls be reading? Add your ideas to the comments section. Don’t forget to recommend books with action-oriented girl main characters to ALL young readers. It is just as important for boys to see examples of strong females as it is for girls.
Felicia Day is not your typical female star—and that’s what we love about her.
Day became known to many television viewers during her stint on the final season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, starred in “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog,” and is the writer, producer, and director of the popular web series The Guild, a show that parodies the culture of online role-playing games.
As noted in a post a few weeks ago, the majority of starring roles in television seem to go to curvy blondes. Redheads are usually cast as wacky sidekicks, like Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or as fiery-tempered fighters, like the argumentative Dr. Brennan in Bones. In defiance of this limiting stereotype, Day’s character, “Codex”, is a shy yet intelligent gamer who seems like the girl next door.
When asked by Wired magazine about the inspiration for The Guild, Day said:
Most people don’t make a living acting. But being the kind of girl who is stereotyped as the secretary — or I’ve played a crazy cat lady five times, which is fine because I do that very well — but at a certain point you’re like, ‘I am more than this.’ That’s why I wrote Codex [her character in The Guild]. I sat down and was like, ‘What role would I have the most fun playing and would never be offered to me?’ I think Codex, in a mainstream world, would have a perfect nose and great highlights, but that’s not reality. And I wanted to, somehow, infuse reality into what I was doing.
Rather than give in to the pressure to change to fit the Hollywood ideal, Day seems more interested in changing the way Hollywood works.The Guild has no studio oversight, no million-dollar budget, and no A-list cast. Yet their promotional video for the third season of the show has over 4 million views on YouTube, and was the number one video download on iTunes.
The viral video, entitled “Do You Want to Date My Avatar”, pokes fun at the disconnect between oversexualized gaming avatars and the real appearance and lives of the gamers themselves:
Felicia Day is proof that there is more than one way to succeed as a woman in entertainment, and that women don’t need to accept negative stereotypes in order to do so.
Charlotte on her way to a baby shower in Sex and the City
I’m really excited to be attending my cousin’s baby shower this month, but I thought it was incredibly odd when my aunt told me that men don’t come; showers are for women only. How “normal” is it to have women-only baby showers? According to popular media, it’s the way baby showers are done. No men. Additionally, the way in which showers are discussed can highlight the stereotypical disdain men sometimes have when considering baby showers.
Take, for instance, an episode toward the end of season four of Friends. Monica and Rachel decide to host a baby shower for Phoebe, and when Joey hears about the party he states, “Baby shower? That so doesn’t sound like something I want to do.”
Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe after Rachel’s women-only baby shower on Friends.
Joey is noting that it seems like an incredibly boring event, especially when compared to the bachelor party he’s planning. Even though Phoebe is one of his best friends and will be giving birth, this celebration is something he would prefer to miss. Of course, later in the episode the shower is depicted with only women in attendance – no men.
Fast forward a few years to season eight of Friends when Rachel is pregnant. Monica and Phoebe host a baby shower, and again, no men attend. Ross, the father of the baby, comes into the apartment after the guests have left, looks around at all the gifts, and says, “Looks like we got a lot of good stuff.” He states this even though he did not attend or participate in the shower celebrating the future birth of his and Rachel’s daughter.
In season one of Sex and the City, Charlotte takes a brand name (of course) baby basket to a friend’s shower as a gift. All the shower attendees are women, although Miranda, Samantha, and Carrie aren’t overly enthused to be there. In season four, Steve is not present at Miranda’s baby shower even though he would be using most of the baby gifts, too.
Miranda (center), reluctantly attends the women-only baby shower in her honor in an episode of Sex and the City
Some baby shower web sites, such as babyshower101.com and baby-shower.com, recognize that while showers are traditionally for women only, there has been an increase in men’s attendance. I wonder if this shift in attendance and participation possibly reflects a more equitable arrangement regarding families.
With all these depictions of women-only baby showers, is popular media just keeping with tradition? If so, does that perpetuate sexist stereotypes that only women are expected to be responsible for raising children, or is it empowering for women to share experiences regarding childbirth and motherhood amongst themselves? If you were to host a baby shower with feminist values, what would you do?
–Katherine B.
Katherine Broendel holds a master’s degree in public communication from American University in Washington, D.C. Her thesis focused on the framing of sexual violence in the media. Broendel’s professional experience includes work at various nonprofit organizations including AAUW; the National Geographic Society; Amnesty International, USA; and Defenders of Wildlife.
The Comedian (a.k.a. the perpetrator) justifies his attack by saying,
