Posts filed under 'older women'
The media pays a lot of attention to violence in kids’ video games. But when we’re looking at messages in games, I’m also concerned about the troubling signals in games designed for tween girls. In an article in WIRED magazine, Tracey John asks whether games that encourage girls to be pretty and liked above all else could be just as damaging as games like Grand Theft Auto.
What is Carrie the Caregiver teaching our daughters?
John mainly deals with console games, but I also looked at a variety of PC games and noticed similar lessons and messages. Mostly I tried time-management games where the player takes on the role of a young woman running a business, including Carrie the Caregiver, Pet Show Craze, Sally’s Salon, and Fix-It-Up: Kate’s Adventure.
1. Girls should be encouraged to pursue caregiving occupations.
Perhaps the most cringe-worthy of this type of game is Carrie the Caregiver. The first game in this series sees the ever-perky Carrie working in a nursery where she exhibits an unnatural level of enthusiasm all day as she feeds, burps, and changes babies. Check out the trailer:
Even the games where the main character runs a business involve small service-industry businesses like Sally’s Salon or the bakeries in Cake Mania, which reinforce the perception that all women are natural caretakers.
2.Ambitious older women are your enemies.
The older woman enemy in Pet Show Craze
The back-stories for the games usually include an older, angry, cold, and ambitious woman who’s trying to put you out of business.
Most of these games have twin goals of earning money and boosting your reputation (usually represented by hearts), indicating that likeability is just as or more important than money. If you don’t worry about what other people think of you, these games suggest, you might end up like the frigid, older woman you’ve been fighting.
Do you know of any boys’ games that encourage the player to spend time collecting hearts to make people like him?
3. Your customers will reinforce race and gender stereotypes, and beauty is key.
All the male characters in Pet Show Craze gain hearts if you seat them next to the supermodel, even the little boy
Pet Show Craze has some of the best examples of this: each type of character owns one type of animal and your black customers are the only ones who own monkeys. Also, all the male customers gain hearts if you seat them next to the supermodel, but most don’t get a kick out of the sporty girl.
Rewards in these games include unlocking new outfits for your character and new décor for the business.
4. You’d better end up in a (heterosexual) relationship
Many tween girl games include the main character finding love. For example, the entire story of Cake Mania 3 revolves around making sure the main girl character gets back in time for her wedding. Further, Carrie the Caregiver adopts a daughter from Africa and meets her future husband, Will.
Even the more unique Fix-It-Up: Kate’s Adventure, which features a muscular girl with dreadlocks repairing cars, revolves around a back-story in which she falls in love with a guy who helps her fix cars. The amount of attention given to this story and its happy resolution implies her ending up with the guy at the end is just as important as the success of her business.
So are these games as harmless as they seem on the surface? Or are they telling young girls that being beautiful and being liked are the goals, not just in the game, but in life?
–Jarrah
February 22nd, 2010
Nancy Meyers
As one of the few successful female writers, directors, and producers in Hollywood, Nancy Meyers has been making movies for over 30 years. Her movies include many romantic comedies featuring middle-aged couples, such as Father of the Bride, Something’s Gotta Give, and the recent release, It’s Complicated.
I’d always just thought of these movies as fun holiday diversions, but a recent piece in the New York Times by Daphne Merkin, called “Can Anybody Make a Movie for Women?”, made me think perhaps more was at stake.
Merkin argues:
“[Meyers] rushed in where angels fear to tread to rescue the middle-aged and manless woman from her lonely plight. She has taken this sorry creature, who is bombarded with reminders of her vanished youthfulness everywhere she turns, and placed her in an alternate universe, where she is…desirable just the way she is.”
Even though I know how much women are pressured to look and act youthful, I was disheartened to read this belief. Merkin seems to think there’s an age between 30 and 40 where women reach their best before dates and instantly become saggy, wrinkly, undesirable hags.
If that idea is out there, then Meyers’ movies might play a more important role than I thought. Her movies tell older women it’s okay to be happy and competent, while also subtly telling younger women not to worry so much, because love can happen later.
- Nancy Meyers at work
In It’s Complicated, Meryl Streep plays Jane, a divorced mother of three who runs a bakery in Santa Barbara. One drunken night, she begins an affair with her ex-husband, Jake (Alec Baldwin), who is remarried to a much younger woman. Meanwhile, Jane is also pursued by her architect (Steve Martin).
During the movie, I noticed Jane’s relative security. While she worries about a sagging eyelid, you get the impression that she’s been getting along fine with her work, girlfriends, and kids.
Seeing her happy despite her single status, we get a different message from the traditional one that older women without men are pitiful “spinsters”. Instead, we see an example of how older women don’t need to rely on having men to be happy.
There were things that irked me, though, like how Jane and her friends demonize Jake’s wife and other younger women for “stealing” their men, and I didn’t notice a single important non-white character. Also, the characters’ happiness seemed partly due to their immense wealth.
But at the end of the day, as someone who’s feeling societal pressure to settle down and have kids at age 24, I felt like the movie gave me some license to relax and live my own life without worrying about hitting an arbitrary age where I will be doomed to live a lonely, miserable, single life. As far as fantasies go, I can definitely buy into one where I get to be myself and pursue my career goals, and when I’m pushing 60 maybe have a fling with a paunchy yet charming lawyer.
Do you think the focus on middle-aged women in movies like It’s Complicated is refreshing, or do you think these movies still tell women they’re incomplete without men? What do you think young women take home from watching these movies? Do you think the fact that the characters are usually really rich increases the pressure on women for financial and career success as well as romantic success?
–Jarrah
January 7th, 2010
"Michele" by Jodi Bieber
What words have we been programmed to use when defining beauty? How about flawless, skinny, model, glamorous, celebrity, or perfection? How about painful? Well, I’m rebelling.
I have a word I would like to include my in my definition of beauty; that word is “real”. “Real” as in something we all possess. “Real” as in every woman in her own uniqueness. “Real” as in the stunning photographs by acclaimed South African photographer Jodi Bieber.
Real Beauty depicts women who live in and near Bieber’s South African community. According to Bieber’s website, she encouraged all of the women she photographed to explore their own personalities and fantasies for their shots.
"Caroline" by Jodi Bieber
The photos are intimate. In some instances, they are so unflinching and personal that they are hard to look at. I felt like a voyeur, yet I wanted to keep looking.
The women in the photographs are proud and dignified. They are black and white and fat and thin. Some of the women are clothed, some are not. Some of them are sensual and some are very matter of fact. Each of them is very real and beautiful.
I dare you not to find at least one that doesn’t make you think “that reminds me of me.”
Bieber’s award-winning Real Beauty collection is an extension of the Dove advertising campaign depicting ordinary women in their underwear advocating real beauty. Bieber’s photos also came out of the reality of an increase in the number of black anorexic women in South Africa. This new trend has western body shapes being more desirable even in cultures that have historically celebrated a more full-figured shape.
"Brenda" by Jodi Bieber
On her web site, Bieber says that while thin women can often be seen as more desirable, in some communities thin and tall women are perceived as being sick (HIV) while full figured women are seen as more healthy. I imagine that in an impoverished nation, being fuller-figured is also a sign of prosperity, as you are obviously eating. It shows that you have a better chance at survival.
Ironically, in the United States we have an over-abundance of everything, yet we are expected to deprive and starve ourselves in order to fit unrealistic body and beauty expectations.
"Tami" by Jodi Bieber
In western culture, beauty is generally held up as an unachievable gold standard—and darn it if we don’t enjoy a good challenge! We pluck, shave, laser, dye, cut, diet, paint, exercise, liposuction, nip and tuck our bodies to fit someone else’s ideal of what we are supposed to look like. And yet, only a select few are ultimately celebrated for having what is deemed perfect skin, perfect hair, and the perfect body.
Look at the photographs Jodi Bieber has gifted to the world and ask yourself “what words would I use to describe beauty?” I like these: dignified, stylish, confident, serene, inclusive, unique, healthy, me, you. Real.
–Jodie
Jodie Maruska is a freelance writer, public speaker and stand-up comic based in Minneapolis. Her popular talk “Belly Laughs” effectively combines humor with the powerful message of body acceptance as Jodie shares her experience and observations of the complicated relationship we have with our bodies. She is a regular contributor to the Minnesota Women’s Press and was a recent finalist in the Flash Fiction competition for MNArtists.org.
November 23rd, 2009
These days it often seems like it is a requirement to be good looking to be a good singer. Simon Cowell is known for his harsh words for singing contestants regarding, not just their singing, but their looks too. All of this changed when Susan Boyle came onto Britain’s Got Talent (the UK version of American Idol).
Susan Boyle is moving people world-round with her phenomenal voice. I think it is wonderful that this woman from Scotland is able to be recognized for her amazing talents. In addition to her talents, Boyle’s confidence in the faces of those who doubted and mocked her is inspiring.
In spite of the eye rolls from both the audience and the judges before her performance, she went on to move them all to standing ovations and tears with her magnificent voice. It’s heart-warming to watch the audience’s cynicism and judgment dissolve at the sound of Susan’s voice.
My favorite line in the video is when Amanda says:
I am so thrilled because I know that everybody was against you. I honestly think that we were all being very cynical and I think that’s the biggest wake up call ever. And I just want to say that it was a complete privilege listening to that.
Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent
I wholeheartedly agree. The world needs this wake up call. We, as a culture, have become so focused on appearances that we can potentially limit ourselves from people’s talents that can move millions to tears. Hopefully Boyle’s story will help the world open its collective eye to a whole new slough of incredibly talented people that don’t look like Paris Hilton.
Susan Boyle has literally become famous overnight. Over 20.6 million people have seen Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent YouTube video. Since her performance, Susan has been given several offers for complete makeovers. Apparently now that she’s a star she has to look like a star! And apparently it’s the media that decides what a star looks like!
Susan Boyle At Her Home Piano
I’m inspired that Susan has not let the media get under her skin and make her feel un-pretty or insecure. Susan is comfortable with herself and her looks and she won’t let instant fame change who she is. In an interview on CNN‘s American Morning on Friday Susan said:
I wouldn’t want to change myself too much because that would really make things a bit false. I want to receive people as the real me, a real person.
That’s a message that About-Face can endorse and everyone should take to heart.
You can live your dreams and be talented no matter what you look like, how old you are, or where you’re from. All it takes is confidence and determination. Don’t be afraid to show yourself. Don’t hide your talents out of insecurity. And definitely don’t believe anyone who rolls their eyes and says “you can’t.”
If you want to contact the people behind Britain’s Got Talent to let them know how you feel about the representation of Susan Boyle, you can email them at viewerservices@itv.com
-Jaimie and Ashley
April 17th, 2009
Emma Thompson
I was Google-chatting with my good friend Rebecca the other day and we were rambling on about the Oscars. You know — our favorite dresses, favorite speeches, and so on. Out of the blue, she asks “Did you hear about Emma Thompson?”
Apparently, Emma Thompson laid it down to the producers of her new movie Cassandra’s Dream when they asked Hayley Atwell to trim down her physique. Ms. Thompson used her leverage as a two-time Oscar winner and told the producers she would “resign from the film if they forced Atwell to lose weight.” Wow!
We’re hoping this story is true. Either way, we hope other high-powered celebrities heed this example of awesome-ship (of course, in an ideal world, this would never be an issue). After all, movies are supposed to be part of self-expression. When did this type of expression result in controlling women’s bodies?
–A.J.
February 26th, 2008
The San Francisco Chronicle recently published an article about the growing number of “mommies” turning to cosmetic surgery to get rid of unwanted fat, cellulite, and saggy breasts. I have so many comments, I don’t even know where to begin–but they all revolve around this narrow standard of beauty women feel pressured to live up to.
“Mommy Makeovers” used to be thought of as a new hairdo, some additions to the wardrobe, and perhaps a visit to the spa. Now it means cosmetic surgery??!!
“Many other Bay Area moms interviewed about their plastic surgeries said they did it for self-esteem rather than for their husbands or to compete with other women. These same women also are very reluctant to let anyone know they did it.”
As much as I want to believe that these women are undergoing cosmetic surgery of their own volition, I can’t help but wonder whether societal pressures to maintain youth-like beauty and taut skin influenced their decision-making process. According to the article, “More than 325,000 tummy tucks, breast augmentations and breast lifts were performed on women ages 20-39 in 2006. That’s an increase of about 11 percent from 2005, according to data released Thursday by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.” How much of a “choice” is cosmetic surgery and how much of it is pressure from media?
One woman says that her procedure was the “cost of an economy car.” That’s what? $10,000? Women make 77 cents on a man’s dollar; our basic financial rights haven’t been met, yet the pressure to remain beautiful is prioritized over equal pay or equal rights in general. Why aren’t women pressured to focus on saving money or learning more about financial investments for future security? I wonder if our obsession with appearence is yet another way to keep women from gaining equality?
And how does this affect the children of these women, particularly her daughters? Do spouses encourage them? Or do they support their partners in whichever decision she makes?
How would it make you feel if your mother had cosmetic surgery? If she has, did that affect your thoughts about your own body?
– A.J.
April 25th, 2007
Oh Dove, how you woo us. In the latest series of ads meant to motivate women to buy products based on positive feelings about themselves, Dove has created a truly sassy commercial for Pro-Age, a line of products for women over 50 years old. Here I’ve posted some still images of the commercial, which you can watch on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty web site.
Maybe you’re thinking, “I’m not even close to 50! Why should I care?” Listen sister, you are going to be 50 someday, so don’t you need some positive role models who actually feel comfortable in their skin? Raise your hand if your mom (or older sister, or aunt, or grandmother) hates her (insert body part here). Let’s see some women who love their (insert body parts here).
The Campaign for Real Beauty web site states that Dove couldn’t show these commercials on TV. I’m not sure whether TV markets wouldn’t accept it (the women are nude, after all), or whether posting it on the web site only is just a marketing tactic.
Dove also took out a four-page ad in Oprah magazine’s March 2007 issue that spotlights one of the women in the ad. (If you have a copy, please send us a scan of it… submissions@about-face.org)
Congratulations to Dove for continuing to help women feel good about themselves. You may be selling us beauty products, but at least you’re not insulting us in doing it.
– J. B.
February 15th, 2007
