Posts filed under 'body image'
The San Francisco Chronicle recently published an article about the growing number of “mommies” turning to cosmetic surgery to get rid of unwanted fat, cellulite, and saggy breasts. I have so many comments, I don’t even know where to begin–but they all revolve around this narrow standard of beauty women feel pressured to live up to.
“Mommy Makeovers” used to be thought of as a new hairdo, some additions to the wardrobe, and perhaps a visit to the spa. Now it means cosmetic surgery??!!
“Many other Bay Area moms interviewed about their plastic surgeries said they did it for self-esteem rather than for their husbands or to compete with other women. These same women also are very reluctant to let anyone know they did it.”
As much as I want to believe that these women are undergoing cosmetic surgery of their own volition, I can’t help but wonder whether societal pressures to maintain youth-like beauty and taut skin influenced their decision-making process. According to the article, “More than 325,000 tummy tucks, breast augmentations and breast lifts were performed on women ages 20-39 in 2006. That’s an increase of about 11 percent from 2005, according to data released Thursday by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.” How much of a “choice” is cosmetic surgery and how much of it is pressure from media?
One woman says that her procedure was the “cost of an economy car.” That’s what? $10,000? Women make 77 cents on a man’s dollar; our basic financial rights haven’t been met, yet the pressure to remain beautiful is prioritized over equal pay or equal rights in general. Why aren’t women pressured to focus on saving money or learning more about financial investments for future security? I wonder if our obsession with appearence is yet another way to keep women from gaining equality?
And how does this affect the children of these women, particularly her daughters? Do spouses encourage them? Or do they support their partners in whichever decision she makes?
How would it make you feel if your mother had cosmetic surgery? If she has, did that affect your thoughts about your own body?
– A.J.
April 25th, 2007
So if you’ve read my Gym blog #1 and Gym blog #2 you can see by now that I’m very serious about eating disorders. I had anorexia nervosa for 10 years and have now been recovered for 10 years. I have never felt stronger. I have been doing public health work in this area for the community for the past 12 years. I also work for Kaiser Permanente as a Regional Health Coordinator, working in areas such as women’s health, perinatal health, domestic violence, and multiculturalism. Right now I am studying to get my Ph.D. in clinical psychology so that I can continue my work in the eating disorders field.
This issue was a big one here on our new blog, so I thought I’d give some tips. Here’s how to help a friend or loved one whom you suspect may have an eating disorder:
* Learn as much as you can about eating disorders. Read books, articles, and brochures. Gurze Books is a great publisher of books on eating disorders. “Life Without Ed” by Jenni Schaefer is a great book.
* Know the differences between facts and myths about weight, nutrition, and exercise. Knowing the facts will help you reason against any inaccurate ideas that your friend may be using as excuses to maintain her or his disordered eating patterns. The resources below can help you with this.
* Be honest. Talk openly and honestly about your concerns with the person who is struggling with eating or body image problems. Avoiding it or ignoring it won’t help!
* Be caring, but be firm. Caring about your friend does not mean being manipulated by her (or him). Your friend must be responsible for her or his actions and the consequences of those actions.
* Avoid making rules, promises, or expectations that you cannot or will not uphold. For example, “I promise not to tell anyone.” Or, “If you do this one more time, I’ll never talk to you again.”
* Compliment your friend’s wonderful personality, successes, or accomplishments. Remind your friend that “true beauty” is not simply skin deep.
* Be a good role model with regard to sensible eating, exercise, and self-acceptance.
* Tell someone. It may seem difficult to know when, if at all, to tell someone else about your concerns. Addressing body-image or eating problems in their beginning stages offers your friend the best chance for working through these issues and becoming healthy again. Don’t wait until the situation is so severe that your friend’s life is in danger. Your friend needs as much support and understanding as possible.
To learn more about eating disorders, go to http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org and http://www.something-fishy.org. Ask questions. Post a comment below, and if I can help, or know someone who can, I will be sure to respond!
– M.R.
March 12th, 2007
Back on February 4, I blogged about a dilemma one might face at the gym: What do you do when you think someone might be overexercising, at the risk of their health? And we got some very different responses. So I thought I’d just respond to them here and keep the conversation going. I hope you will chime in too!
Commenter #2, S:
The question I wanted to raise is: What if someone is in trouble and no one does anything? It wasn’t to look judge someone’s size. I can see how it could have been interpreted that way since I did mention the size of the woman. I apologize; exercise obsession can and does occur in people of all sizes. I am coming from this gym dilemma as a person who has recovered from anorexia nervosa. So believe me, I do understand.
I appreciate what RW said about exercise and body image. Unfortunately, most of us do exercise to achieve thinness. Studies show a physiological connection between eating disorders and excessive exercise and dieting. Many of us begin by dieting and exercising, but it can lead to a possible eating disorder, especially if what is driving these behaviors is unhappiness with ourselves and our physical appearance.
To see what their take is, I recently spoke to therapists who work with individuals with eating disorders and I received the following sage comments and advice: Patients with eating disorders say that no one else seems concerned about their problem, which helped them continue their denial. Denial is the hallmark feature of eating disorders. While it is true that people have the right to be as athletic as they want and have the right to make poor food/health choices, it is also true that some folks are acting out of illness.
Having our compassion, not judgment, is helpful. Eating disorders are the most lethal of all psychiatric disorders, and to ignore possible trouble due to misguided “political correctness,” or even just politeness, is tragic. Is it so terrible to merely ask, “Are you OK?”? If I see someone at the gym or McDonald’s who looks like they are going to pass out, regardless of size, I would want to approach them and ask if they are alright.
– M.R.
March 1st, 2007
Oh Dove, how you woo us. In the latest series of ads meant to motivate women to buy products based on positive feelings about themselves, Dove has created a truly sassy commercial for Pro-Age, a line of products for women over 50 years old. Here I’ve posted some still images of the commercial, which you can watch on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty web site.
Maybe you’re thinking, “I’m not even close to 50! Why should I care?” Listen sister, you are going to be 50 someday, so don’t you need some positive role models who actually feel comfortable in their skin? Raise your hand if your mom (or older sister, or aunt, or grandmother) hates her (insert body part here). Let’s see some women who love their (insert body parts here).
The Campaign for Real Beauty web site states that Dove couldn’t show these commercials on TV. I’m not sure whether TV markets wouldn’t accept it (the women are nude, after all), or whether posting it on the web site only is just a marketing tactic.
Dove also took out a four-page ad in Oprah magazine’s March 2007 issue that spotlights one of the women in the ad. (If you have a copy, please send us a scan of it… submissions@about-face.org)
Congratulations to Dove for continuing to help women feel good about themselves. You may be selling us beauty products, but at least you’re not insulting us in doing it.
– J. B.
February 15th, 2007
One of my best friends, Alison, is expecting her first child this March. Auntie Alyza sure has a nice ring to it, no? Alison is one of the few women in my life who rarely critiques her body — something many women have trouble with in general.
Because many of her loved ones live out of state, Alison uses MySpace to keep her long-distance friends updated on the hows and whats of her pregnancy. We visually track her pregnancy with pictures she posts every week. It’s been a delight! What I love about these pictures are her poses. Alison does funny plies, uber-sarcastic “sexy model” expressions, funny 80’s midriff shots, and every once in a while, she takes a simple shot of her glowing, smiling self. Alison’s baby boy will be lucky to grow up in a body-positive household! It’s refreshing knowing a pregnant woman is having fun with her body, since most of us feel burdened by the extra pounds.
Here’s what Alison says:
“People have joked that I’ve been gaining some weight. They make sure to tell me that they are joking, but I never take it seriously because I know that I am gaining the right amount of weight per my pre-pregnancy size. I eat so I’m full and know that I am nourishing another growing life.
“Earlier last year, I interviewed for a nanny job with this lady who was due to have twins. She was a ridiculous exerciser. Despite being pregnant with twins, she said she had only gained around 25 pounds. That’s the bare minimum that a woman like me should be gaining with ONE child. It kills me that some women are more concerned about their weight and image during pregnancy than creating another life.”
Alison is a great role model for all of us, not just the pregnant ones! This is why I love Alison — she’s a great role model What’s your take?
– A.J.
February 8th, 2007
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