Comments on: Do light-skinned black women have life easier than dark-skinned black women?

By: BRITTNEY

BRITTNEY — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:54:16 +0000

IM DARK SKINNED AND I’VE BEEN TOLDED THAT I WOULD BE PRETTY IF I WAS LIGHT SKINNED TO. IT IS SO TRUE WHEN YOU ARE LIGHT SKINNED YOU HAVE ADVANTAGES. PEOPLE WILL TREATED YOU BETTER. MY BEST FRIENDS ARE LIGHT AND PEOPLE TREATED THEM WITH WAY MORE RESPECT. EVEN IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT IN YOUR BLACKNESS IT STILL CAN BE DEPRESSING WHEN THE WORLD TELLS YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE “I PERFER BRIGHT SKINNED WOMEN”

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:00:13 +0000

Hello All,
I am a dark-skinned black sister with dreadlocks. And, to be quite honest, I love being “blue-black” (smile) because it, to me, means purity and depth in my African roots. My brown-skinned Afro-Caribbean mother always raised me to believe that darker skin was superior and raised me to be natural. Hell, I am 23 and have NEVER worn a weave or embraced any form of Eurocentricity.
Overall, I prefer darker-skinned men and want dark-skinned babies in the future. But, oddly enough, I ALWAYS get hit on by White men. This, to me is because Black men have a VERY Euro-Centric perspective on beauty and ALWAYS prefer the lighter skinned sister over a dark-skinned sister; even in some cases where the light-skinned sister is visibly less attractive. In addition, even though I am “naturally dreadlocked”, a White man will tell me that I am beautiful first; even though he is not my first choice in who I want to be my KING.
On the flip side, I feel that light skinned sisters have it easier than light skinned brothers. In today’s society, the dark-skinned black man is seen as “smooth chocolate” and is preferred by most sisters. I am guilty of this as well; as I described before.
Lastly, I do have some resentment towards lighter-skinned women because to me, they believe that they are superior to their caramel, chocolate, and/or blue-black sister counterparts; which gets on my damn nerves. Hell, on this particular show, there was a lady named Tamara who hated dark-skinned women even though she was caramel and had a NATURAL HAIRCUT; making her a hypocrite all around. And, as a child, lighter-skinned sister were very mean to me; forcing me not to trust them even in friendship. At the end of the day, I know I have some healing to do; which I acknowledge and truly wish that colorism was not so important in our community.

By: MadBlack Woman

MadBlack Woman — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 02:41:30 +0000

Light skin blacks ARE NOT the true blacks-nuff said!!!!!

By: Tinay

Tinay — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:24:12 +0000

ALIYAH- you are so right! I hate hearing, “she is pretty, for a dark skinned girl”. Or, “wow! he is handsome for a dark black guy”. These statements ARE RIDICULOUS!! And this idiocy comes from people of color as well as white folks. Of course it stings worse coming from a black persons lips! Next on my list would be hearing, “i dont want anyone darker than me”! What the hail?? What is even more sad, is that the ones I hear say this are quite dark. So to me, Im thinking “you are pretty dark, is there someone darker”? By no means was that said negatively, however, it is the truth. Which goes back to my original stance that, “shade of brown is in the eye of the beholder”. Being of light tone, I dont see how someone quite dark can tell if someone else is darker- from their point of view, I guess they can tell. I have always had equal love for EVERY shade of brown!! From barely brown to deliciously ~beautifully deep brown!!!

By: ALIYAH SERAPHIN

ALIYAH SERAPHIN — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 22:15:38 +0000

I am Dark Skin I was told if I were lighter I would be prettier .I Love my Skin Tone Everyone was born unique in some way. Remember the world is a colorful place if we all were the same it would be boring. Do not hate, appreciate the fact you are you and they are them.

By: strawberryp0cky

strawberryp0cky — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:59:17 +0000

My heart broke when I saw this. I am of mixed race, none of which are black, so I cannot speak on this issue from that standpoint. However, I am a person who is very empathetic. When I heard her ask when someone is going to call her pretty, it was heart-breaking for sure. I think that black women are beautiful…I think all women are.

This has also hit home, because I have a half black, half Chamorro cousin who is affected by this. His father is the black parent, and as an engineer for Boeing, he sometimes has to move his family around. He is a strong father and tried to instill a good work ethic in his sons, knowing full well the opposition they’ll face. The problem is, their last move took them to an all-white town…and one of my cousins was trying to fit in desperately. He became anorexic to be slim like them (Chamorro people aren’t small…think Samoan and you’re on the right track), and he even got blue contacts for his eyes. He even tried to tan with his white friends. It was devastating.

However, you must ask yourself how much of this is a “race” issue and how much is a self-esteem issue. “I’m not pretty because I’m darker skinned.” Now, replace “darker skinned” with fat, chubby, flat-chested, scarred, covered in stretch marks, etc. and you have a very common complaint. Instead of getting hung up on body types, these women are hung up on body hues. To me, it’s nothing more than a terrible, but all-too-common, self-esteem issue so many women have: “I’m not pretty because I’m [insert anything here].” I think the fact that we look at this as a racial issue is actually racist…the fact that a black woman is having issues with her body automatically makes it a RACE issue instead of a typical self-esteem issue, you know?

By: free2beemee247

free2beemee247 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:33:09 +0000

I feel like this subject isn’t touched upon enough, so taking this opportunity to say something is very important to me. I am 16 years old. My mother has brown skin and is mixed with african american, native american, and irish. My father has very light skin and is mixed with cape verdian, portuguese, antiguan, and beijan(Barbados). I have light skin and long hair that is extremely curly and wavy but turns out to be very pretty when it’s straightened. My older brother has eyes that change color, while me and my little brother have light brown eyes. My mother and father both have brown eyes and when all of us are together, people walk up to my parents and ask if my older brother is their son because of his eye color. In school, girls(white and black) come up to me and ask me if i have a weave or a perm because my hair is so long and is easily straightened. Dark skin girls come up to me and say things like, “I wish i had hair like you” and to be honest, that deeply saddens me. White boys say that they would rather prefer a light skinned girl over a dark skinned girl which doesn’t make any sense because there are some drop dead gorgeous dark skinned girls out there. They’re missing out. I feel like each and every one of us in the black community should be grateful for the way we look and not covet each other for things that we “wish” we had. Each and every one of us should embrace each other and stop putting each other down because, the way i see it, regardless of whether you’re light skinned or dark skinned, we’re all people of color. Something we should be proud of.

By: Tinay

Tinay — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:25:12 +0000

MY LIFE EXPERIENCE as a lighter complexioned woman. I have seen the double standard and I have been the double standard. I realize that my color and my hair texture allows me more priviledges than if I were dark and my hair thicker. I do not discriminate and do not see color when choosing who to befriend and approach. I firmly believe that because I was raised in a military family, where we had friends and neighbors of all races and colors helped me not see the color line. Ive been discriminated against from darker skinned people and to this day I will never understand it!! I am certainly not talking about everyone- but it happens. I love to smile and speak to those i pass by in the store, or in the community, and so many times ive had darker skinned black women give me hideous looks!! At times some nasty comments!! I dont understand it, and honestly do not fully blame them for it. Living in this country, what do we see when looking at TV or magazines?? Light skin black person or someone with darker skin with long curly or straight hair!! Its crazy. Most of my friends are much darker than me, but so what??? We have some very deep conversations about color and I hate that I can see in their face that being dark in America has been a negative experience. The sentence I get most from them is, “Tinay- you are light so you dont understand, or my opion is skewed because of my color”. That is not true, but I can agree that many of my experiences have been different because I have usually been that employee allowed to go further because of my skin/hair/dialect. NO, I am not talking about grammar. SO please, noone write to me about “sounding white”. I dont believe in that statement. Im always ACCUSED of not being “all the way black, or different than ‘them’”. People make assumptions based on what they have learned and experienced. Bottom line, we are all affected in some way with skin tone, and in a perfect world, I would say “there is no color”. However, the reality is I cannot imagine a world where skin tone is not an issue. BUT, as people of color, I hope we can get past “shades of brown”, because when it comes down to it- we have MANY more race issues to deal with. There shouldnt be a race issue within a race. When I say “people of color”, I am not just referring to black people- if you are not white, I am talking about you too!!Wish you all the best!!

By: Tinay

Tinay — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 23:59:20 +0000

Color! Color! Color! This will always be a topic of conversation for people of COLOR. I am considered light complexioned, although i do not really see that, until a picture is taken. To be honest, shade of color is in the eye of the beholder, from my experience. My friends and I often differ about dark & light on a particular person. What I consider “darker”, my darker friends consider “light or red”. By the way, I hate the terms “yellow and red”, when referring to the color of black people. I am not yellow nor red, i am a beautiful shade of brown. What I consider “pecan tan”! ALL shades of brown are absolutely gorgeous!! And I do mean-n brown! Not black and not white. How rare is it that anyone sees someone who is the color of black or the color of white? Its rare for me.

By: Katrina

Katrina — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 14:06:23 +0000

I’m mixed!! I’m black and white(Irish decent),but I look Hispanic and thats what most people think I am without even thinking about it. My life growing up mixed has been pretty much awkward. I’m black but the black community doesn’t except me as black. Its kind of funny actually when my brothers and I go to BBQs and some of our cousins who don’t know us wonder why we are there! (they look at us like freeloaders or something. Ha ha.) All my life I have been accepted by Hispanic people. With that said I notice that black girls and even grown women show lots of animosity, anger, and jealously towards Spanish women or in my case Spanish looking women. My father whom is black always tells me it goes back to the slavery when a “master” would rape a black women and the kids came out lighter that they where treated better than others. He told me they were the ones who were actually able to live better (for lack of better words because they were still considered slaves.) I take this to probably be the reason dark skinned women act envious towards lighter skinned blacks or mixed ones. With all of this said I’m proud to be mixed not because I’m lighter, but because I have so much culture. And for a reminder to everyone, there is no such thing as a pure race!